


Learning to Lead

by prairienitro



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, One Shot Collection, natalie trevelyan, random notebook stories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2016-03-04
Packaged: 2018-03-19 18:44:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 29,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3620337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prairienitro/pseuds/prairienitro
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of one-shots that I've posted on my tumblr about Natalie Trevelyan. (Chapter 8 is the beginning of NSFW stuff.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Panic Attacks

**Author's Note:**

> This is a series of one-shots focused on a rouge named Natalie Trevelyan that I've posted to my tumblr - randomnotebookstories.tumblr.com - and wanted to put them all on here so that they'd be easily accessible. They are not in any order, and sometimes you'll read a story that's happened before or after a previous one has taken place.

Natalie Trevelyan stormed about the ramparts of Skyhold, her hands raking through the wavy locks of her light brown hair while her grey eyes flickered back and forth in front of her as she walked. In the weeks that the Inquisition has taken up home at the old keep, she had been rushed into so many meetings on top of all the trips across Thedas trying to find a way to stop Corypheus, she was sure her mind was about to explode. She needed the moment of peace and quiet, to get away from the noises of the planning battles. And, now, they were faced with planning an attack on Adamant.

In all her training in dual wielding of daggers, the years she spent pouring over books in her father’s study and learning about different battles, the time she spent preparing herself to join the Chantry at her parents request… Nothing prepared her to be able to make decisions for a whole group, let alone the entirety of Thedas.

Resting her arms against the wall and looking out into the distance, Natalie’s shoulder-length hair fell in front of her face, then billowed out behind her as the breeze caught the soft locks. “How can I do this?” she whispered, her voice so low that she could barely hear it over the howl of the wind.

“ _Inquisitor_?”

There it was. The title that she didn’t believe she deserved. The title that she didn’t have the experience for. And yet, they placed all of the responsibility on her, they trusted her, and she could barely trust herself.

“ _Inquisitor? Are you alright?_ ”

Natalie straightened her back and locked her eyes with those of the Commander of the army. Cullen’s face was full of worry, no doubt coming to make sure she was alright after storming out of the War Room when her three advisors argued about some detail. The three experienced people who Natalie drew strength from.

She should have told him she was fine, keeping the appearance of a strong authority figure. But when she opened her mouth, the truth overpowered the lie that was on top of her lips. “Honestly, no. I’ve no training for leading an army, like you or Cassandra. No experience on negotiating with nobility, like Josephine. I can’t even imagine being able to do whatever it is Leliana does to get information. And yet, somehow, you’ve all decided that I can lead us because my hand glows.”

Cullen leaned against the wall and just let Natalie continue her rant, never taking his eyes off of her for a moment, giving his full attention. “And, worst of it, I have to be the one between all of you and pick a side. I barely know which way the sun is supposed to rise, lately, but I’m supposed to be able to stop Grey Wardens and rouge mages and Corypheus, all with the power bestowed upon me that I’m not even sure Andraste had anything to do with, because certainly She would have given the power to someone with a little more experience, and-”

Natalie began to breathe heavily, her hands pushing her hair to her face as she slid her back down the side of the wall to sit on the stone walkway. Her eyes began to flicker, seeing nothing as her mind began to panic. Too many thoughts ran through her mind: too young, too inexperienced, too naïve.

Her mind surely would have burst if suddenly a warm pair of hands hadn’t gently pulled hers from her head as Cullen knelt down in front of her. “Look at me, and breathe,” he instructed, and Natalie fought to focus her eyes on his.

When their eyes finally met, she watched as Cullen exaggerated taking slow, deep breaths, and Natalie found herself mimicking the process until the wild thoughts in her mind slowed to almost a halt. Nothing in her mind existed aside from the feeling of Cullen’s leather gloves in her hands, the warm look of his eyes as they gently melted away the fears, and the tense muscles fading away as her breathing slowed.

“Better?” Cullen asked as he drew a thumb over the top of her hand, slowly relaxing the muscles in her fingers.

Slowly, she nodded. “I don’t know what that was about,” she whispered, her voice stiff as her throat tried to relax.

“Your mind panics even though there isn’t anything present to fear,” Cullen explained as he finally let his gaze fall for a moment before bringing it back to her. “Sometimes, you may start to feel as though the weight of everything and nothing is pressing into you. Other times, just the added stress of one situation will send your mind into panic.”

Everything he said spoke true to Natalie, and she straightened one of her legs out as the tension in her knee gave way. “You’ve felt like this before?” she asked, and when his gaze fell from hers, she understood. “It’s something to do with what happened in Ferelden, right?” Cullen had begun to talk about what happened to him, why he hadn’t trusted the mages, but he didn’t tell her much more than that. And, in a way, she understood. Someone so young, so inexperienced. Someone who was at the same point in his life that Natalie now faced.

“If you ever feel like you’re about to feel this way again, whether we’re in the War Room or the training ground,” Cullen said, his tone low and serious as he brought his gaze back up to her, “just look to me. I’ll understand.

“And as for feeling like you’re inexperienced in dealing with this,” Cullen continued as he stood, then helped Natalie to her feet. “We all are. But whatever experience we have, it’s yours. Years of experience at your hands, just like those books that I’ve seen you sneaking away from Dorian.”

Natalie smiled and took her hands back from the Commander’s, pushing her hair out of her face and tucking them behind her ears. “Thank you,” she smiled, her gaze meeting Cullen’s for just a moment before she sighed heavily. “Alright. One step at a time, starting with the Grey Wardens and Adamant.”


	2. Keeping Focused

"Who betrayed King Cailan at Ostagar?"  
Natalie barely had a moment to think before a broadsword came crashing toward her face, giving her just enough time to drop to her knees so the sword just missed her head. “When I asked you to help me, I didn’t realize you would try to kill me in the process!”

Cullen panted in front of her, raising his shield as he prepared for a counter-attack from the rouge fighter before him. “I am helping you,” he chuckled as he watched the Inquisitor get back to her feet. “You’ve trained you mind and body to defend itself, but not to think freely while it happens.”

"So me trying to think of the names of Ferelden traitors is going to help me lead an army?" she asked before raising her daggers up to her glistening face. Her hair had started to fall from the braid she tied it it, and sweat stained her face. "I thought it’d be more like thinking of it as chess."

Cullen swung again, and Natalie blocked before swinging her body around his, taking stance behind his back and kicking into his undefended back. He stumbled for a moment, then turned back to her. “In time,” he replied as he faced her again. “But first, you need to learn to focus on not the fight you’re in.”

The shield came slamming towards her face, and Natalie had just long enough to move for it to catch her shoulder. “It’s Loghain!” she shouted before charging at Cullen, placing a foot against his shield and using the momentum to bring her up and plant her knee into his face.

"Oh, Maker," she huffed, dropping her daggers as soon as she landed on the ground, realizing the connection she made.

Cullen laid on his back, sword and shield dropped as he tried to gain his breath, one hand on his face. “Are you alright?” Natalie asked as she rushed to his side. “I’m so sorry! I thought my knee would go past your head! I honestly didn’t-“

But then she was on her back, and Cullen was overtop of her with a dagger to her throat. A bruise was already starting to form on his cheek, but the smirk on his face didn’t show the pain. “You lost your focus.”

Natalie’s forehead furrowed in confusion as she looked at the blade to her throat, then at the man above her. She couldn’t formulate words, trying in some way to defend her actions. But she did lose focus. All her years of training and she should have remembered the one basic rule: until someone yields, the match isn’t over.

"The training ground is no place for devilish deeds!" They both turned their heads to where Dorian and the Inquisitor’s other companions had gathered, snickering at their fallen leader and exchanging money from bets that were made.

Wrinkling her nose at Dorian, she rolled out from under Cullen, then turned to help him stand. “You really should have that looked at,” Natalie huffed as she tried gather her breath, poking gently at the bruise that was forming and watching Cullen wince away from her touch. “I’ve been known to break some bones from slamming my knee into people.”

"Probably not just the face ones, yeah?" she heard Sera yell, and a light flush danced across Natalie’s nose, traveling up to where the small stars were tattooed under her left eye.

"Yes, I will," Cullen answered, ignoring the chuckling from their audience. "And, tomorrow evening, chess in the garden. Bring your daggers." With only that, the commander took his leave, instructing an awaiting soldier to gather his arms and to bring it back to his quarters.

Natalie picked up her own daggers, then slid them back into their sheaths on her back. She puzzled for a moment as to why she could ever need daggers while playing chess, but as she made her way over to her friends, the thought was forgotten.  
"I thought you were the one who was supposed to be able to defeat Cornelius, but you just got your ass kicked!" Sera laughed, again messing up Corypheus’s name.

"Indeed," Dorain agreed as an amused smile spread largely over his face. "Perhaps I’ve given my aid to the wrong side. With moves like that, I’m surprised we made it out of the Hinterlands."

The rest of her companions - save Vivienne and Solas, who didn’t grace them with a presence - agreed with Dorian in some fashion. Natalie just glared at them all. “It seems I should be in the market for some new companions. And friends.”

"Oh, hush," Dorain chided as he wrapped and arm around the Inquisitor and started to steer her toward the keep. "You’d never be able to replace me. Or, more likely, you’ll never get me to leave." But once they were out of earshot of the others, he leaned in close to Natalie’s ear and whispered, "You must tell me, at some point, what it was like to have that man straddling overtop of you."

She hadn’t much thought about it, but with Dorian pointing out just how close she and Cullen were, how close his face was to her own… Natalie smiled back at Dorian. “Only if you can explain to me why I’ll need my daggers to play chess.”


	3. Nightmare

The night sky was blanketed with heavy clouds as a light fall of snow began to fall from the sky. All of Skyhold was quiet and sleeping, having just begun their rest as they prepared for whatever the Maker had next for them to come. It was the well-deserved moment of rest before the Inquisition was to make its trek to Orlais and the Winter Palace in the morning.

But shouts of urgency soon started to spread throughout the keep as candles and torches were lit. Cassandra, in full armor, was marching out of the main hall, addressing the soldiers that began to gather below her. “Find the Inquisitor!” she commanded, trying to keep her voice strong, even though she - herself - was worried. “Check all the halls, any signs of entry into Skyhold. Prepare for the worst!”

Natalie had gone missing in the night, and it was only noticed when Josephine went into her quarters to leave a report for the Inquisitor to read in the morning, but found that the room was a mess. Papers were thrown off of the desk, the fabric on one side of the canopy bed was torn off, and half of Natalie’s collection of daggers, that were usually kept in a neat box, were embedded into the wall. From there, Josephine went to waking Leliana, Cassandra, and Cullen, then everyone else in Skyhold.

The entire keep was abuzz as soldiers and the Inquisitor’s companions rushed about the keep, trying to find the missing woman. Cullen had tried to keep himself firm and orderly, ever the presence of a commanding force, but he had worry tugging at his heart as memories of stolen kisses and quick glances came across his wife. He had to find her.

But as an hour passed, there was still no sign of the Inquisitor had been found. Cullen had begun to have thoughts of doubt as he entered the garden heading toward the small chapel and the shrine of Andraste. He needed a moment to clear his mind.

Anyone could have missed it, the small blanket tucked just behind the shrine of Andraste, especially with the room being as dark as the night outside. And the whisper that was so quit that even Cullen wasn’t sure if it came from a voice or the wind.

The whisper became clearer, and this time, Cullen could make out what it said. “Alex.” Taking slow, delicate steps toward the statue, he bent down to his knees and released a breath he felt he held for a lifetime.

Natalie was curled into a tight ball, clutching her knees to her chest a she shivered under the thin blanket. Her hair was loose, but tangled in a mess of knots at the back of her head. And she kept whispering in her restless sleep. “Alex.”

“Natalie,” Cullen whispered as he removed his gloves and placed a hand gently to her arm, waking her enough that she gently opened her eyes and looked at him. “Are you alright?”

Her red, bloodshot eyes locked with Cullen’s for a moment before all that happened to her crept back up in her mind. She sat up, slowly, the blanket falling to her waist. She had only on a light shirt that left her arms bare and trousers that matched, and Cullen reached to bring the blanket back up over her shoulders. “I had a nightmare.”

“Your room looks as though you were attacked,” he commented, bringing a hand through her hair to get it to lay flat, but more so that he could make sure that Natalie was really there with him.

A single tear began to roll down Natalie’s cheek, and she tore her gaze away from Cullen and back to the statue of Andraste. “I know,” she whispered, her voice catching. “I had to get the thoughts out of my mind somehow. I felt trapped.”

“Would you like to tell me?” he asked, watching as Natalie slowly crumbled back in on herself. It broke his heart to watch the woman he respected – and, dare he admit it, love – fall apart in front of him. Even if he couldn’t save himself from his own dreams, he felt like he needed to be able to protect her from her own.

Natalie took a weak breath, but nodded her head as her hand clutched to the pendant on her neck. “I told you of my younger brother, being in the circle at Ostwick – Alexander. He was at the conclave, and was the last thing I remembered seeing before I got my memories back.”

Her breath caught again, but Cullen knew what she was thinking. That her brother had died at the conclave. “When I went to close the rift that first day with Cassandra… A body at the Temple still lay in front of it” Natalie’s knuckles were white as she tightly gripped her pendant. “I could tell it was him because he still wore our family’s mark around his neck.”

Tears freely flowed down Natalie’s cheeks, and Cullen wrapped her in his arms, silently thanking he hadn’t worn his armor as she pulled herself to his chest. “He’s gone,” she cried, clenching her hands into Cullen’s shirt. “I should have protected him, but I couldn’t.”

The door to the chapel opened, and a messenger stood in the doorway unsure whether or not he should approach. “I have her,” Cullen called over his shoulder before he placed his lips to the top of Natalie’s head, breathing in the scent of her hair that always managed to smell of lilies. “I have you.”

Natalie’s body began to shake as sobs took control of her. Her hands clutched to the dampened fabric of Cullen’s shirt, holding him like he was the only thing keeping her above the flood; the only thing real in a sea of dreams. And all the while, Cullen just rested his lips on the top of her head, stroking one hand along her back while the other held her tightly to him.

When her breathing finally began to slow and become more regular, Cullen was sure she had fallen asleep. But her one hand began to run along his chest, and he glanced down to see that Natalie was watching as she traced the wrinkles in his shirt with the tips of her fingers. “Do I have to go to Orlais?” she whispered, her voice barely stronger than a croak.

It was unthinkable a moment before, but Cullen did chuckle a little as he bent to gently kiss one of the stars by her eye. “If it were up to me, I would see to it that you had all the time that you needed grieve. But the Inquisition needs its Inquisitor.”

She nodded her head in recognition, but still asked, “Is there someone else who wants to have the job?”

“If anyone deserves to defeat Corypheus and be called ‘Inquisitor,” Cullen started as he shifted so he could lift Natalie and stand, “then I can’t think of anyone that is more deserving of that victory than you.”

The Commander carried the Inquisitor out of the garden, and through the main hall, where many of the more worried soldiers and their companions finally let out a sigh of relief when they entered. He brought Natalie up the many stairs to her private quarters, where everything had been organized and replaced. The bed had been freshly made, and while one side of the canopy still was missing a curtain, the blankets had been pulled back so all that Natalie had to do was lay down.

Cullen placed her gently onto the bed, and pulled the blankets over her legs. But when he went to place a kiss upon her lips, he caught himself at the sight of her finally sleeping peacefully. Even for a kiss, he couldn’t imagine waking her, so he doused the few lit candles in the room, made sure that the fire was burning properly, and then quietly left Natalie to sleep. The Maker knew he wouldn’t find any rest tonight.

When he finally entered into the main hall again, many of the people had returned to their own quarters, but Liliana and Josephine stood in his way. “The Inquisitor is asleep,” Cullen stated as he tried to get around them. “May I ask why the two of you are not letting me pass?”

The two women shared a glance before Liliana looked at him with one of her many mischievous grins. “I wonder… Do you know how to dance, Commander?”


	4. Just a Walk

Books were stacked in piles or laying on the floor all about the Inquisitor’s room, mixed among the many reports that couldn’t seem to be kept anywhere near the desk. The largest piles were near the couch, where Natalie sat on the floor, her back against it. Her left leg was straight out in front of her, while her right leg was bent at the knee, her chin resting against her knee as she read the book that lay open on the floor.

The book in question was a look at the Orlesian nobility, and was almost forced upon her by Josephine. Even though she was of noble birth herself, Josephine was sure that she didn’t understand the difference between the two different noble societies. And, if Natalie were to admit it, Josephine was right.

_“I’ve brought you another book.”_

The voice belonged to Cullen as he opened the door to her room and came up the stairs to her room. And whatever he was going to say before he caught the disarray of her room quickly was lost. “Maker’s breath,” he gasped, his eyes flickering around the room before they fell upon where she sat on the floor. “You claim Sera’s room is unorganized, but yours is truly worse.”

“It’s not unorganized!” she countered, bringing both of her knees to her chest as she smiled up at the Commander. “That pile over there is about the logics behind different battles,” she said, gesturing to the stack closest to her bed, “the one by the desk is about the different areas we’re constantly visiting and their people, and this pile around me is usually works of fiction, except Josephine is trying to get me prepared for Orlais and keeps sending different messengers with more books before I can finish one. And that book better not be sent from her.”

Cullen chuckled as he handed Natalie the book before leaning against the railing. “No, it’s a book on the battle of Ostagar. Thought it might interest you.”

Natalie smiled as she took the book from him, then slid herself onto the couch, her legs crossing underneath of her. “Thank you,” she sighed as she smiled fondly at the book. “My father had a copy in his study back in Ostwick. Wouldn’t let me take the book out of his study, but I must have read it a dozen times.”

“Well… I’m glad it’s going to someone who will appreciate it.” Cullen’s voice was nervous, his eyes not landing back on Natalie but glancing around the room. “I must take my leave, Inquisitor. I’m sure you would like to get back to your reading.”

“Maker, no,” she laughed as she stood, gently placing the book on the couch. “I need a break from trying to figure this game the Orlesian nobles play. It’s… I have no idea what it is, but I’m certainly glad I never had to deal with it while I was a child.”

“I always forget that you are of nobility,” Cullen commented as the two left her room, making their way toward the main hall of Skyhold.

“So did I, or so my mother would believe,” Natalie laughed in reply. “With all my training, my mother was mortified on more than one occasion whenever she would throw a party, and I’d arrive with numerous of cuts and bruises from training.”

Cullen chuckled again, the two meandering around the keep. “I can only imagine the sight you would have made.”

“You should have seen when I came home with the stars under my eye,” she stated, pointing to the three small stars on the outside of her right eye. “She nearly fainted.”

Somehow, the two were on the rampart that Cullen had found Natalie when she had her panic attack a few weeks ago. Since then, Natalie has become more comfortable leaning on her advisors when she didn’t know something, and has thrown her every free moment into learning as much as she can. From learning the secrets and using them to sway nobility, to learning how to command an army while in the middle of a fight: the latter of the two causing her to have more bruises than she ever cared for.

“It’s… a nice day,” Cullen stuttered as they stopped walking. Natalie’s gaze had gone out over the vast mountain range past the walls, but her eyes looked back at Cullen when he spoke. The two had been absently flirting for the past few weeks, neither one wanting to admit that there was anything more behind it.

With a sigh, Natalie leaned her back against the wall and looked at Cullen. “Maybe we shouldn’t be talking about the weather,” she said, her eyes searching his face before falling to her feet. “It’s only being used in conversation to avoid what we really should be speaking of.”

Cullen ran a hand along the back of his neck. “Right, maybe we should…”

It was going to have to be her that broached the subject, Natalie knew, seeing that Cullen was just as nervous as she was, although she had no idea why. They were both toeing the edge of unknown territory at that moment. “I find that I can’t think of anything else anymore – whether I’m in Skyhold or not. My mind instantly thinks of you. Of us.”

“I can’t say that I haven’t been thinking of that also, but…” Cullen sighed heavily, looking up at the sky for a moment before his gaze went back to Natalie’s. “Not only are you of nobility, but you’re also the Inquisitor, leading our forces. It wouldn’t be proper for us… We shouldn’t…”

Natalie reached a hand out and grabbed one of Cullen’s, watching as she ran her thumb along the back of his hand. “And yet, for anything my titles could have given me… I’ve never wanted anything more. I’d give up all of that, if I must.”

She could feel Cullen’s body approach her before his free hand found the side of her face. “I would never ask you to give up who you are.”

“Who I am,” Natalie started, finally bringing her gaze back up to meet Cullen’s, “would mean nothing if it also meant I couldn’t see where our path might lead.”

It felt like all the air had left Natalie as she watched Cullen’s gaze search her face before it finally met her eyes. She watched as he leaned down toward her, and she took a deep breath as she prepared herself for him-

“Commander.”

The messenger strode towards them, his eyes glued to the report in his hand. “I have the report from Sister Liliana you asked for.”

Cullen stepped away from Natalie, turning his back toward her as he addressed the messenger. “On my desk,” he ordered, his voice hard and strong, matching the stance of his shoulders before Natalie avoided the eye contact of the messenger. “On. My. Desk.”

“Right,” the messenger stuttered. “Your desk.”

When she heard the quick, retreating footsteps of the messenger, all of Natalie’s confidence went with him. She was back to her mind beginning to panic, just as it had been that first time on the rampart. Her hand went to her hair as she pushed it back and away from her face. “If you need to handle that now…” she started as she turned to leave, but Cullen’s strong hand was on her wrist as the other gripped the back of her neck.

His lips were commanding upon hers, applying just the right amount of pressure upon her own lips. Any thoughts that Natalie had left her, leaving her mind back at peace. Her hands drifted up, feeling the cool metal of Cullen’s armor for just an instant before he pulled away from the kiss. “I… I’m sorry…” he started, his gaze drifting anywhere but Natalie. “Maker’s breath, was that alright?”

Natalie’s hand captured the side of his face, bringing his eyes back to her. So many things she wanted to say, but none of them could escape her lips. Just a gentle smile pulling the edges of her lips up, which must have been contagious for she watched as Cullen’s pulled up as well. Then she pushed herself up to his toes to press her lips against his again, not wanting to forget for an instant the love and the warmth that came with the physical feeling of his lips on hers and his hands holding her against him.


	5. Guilty Pleasure

It was one of the only places no one within the Inquisition went looking, and it was the only place the Inquisitor could stay hidden for any period of time. Natalie had tied her brown hair into a messy knot onto the back of her head, and her eyes were cast down upon the bag that was in her lap. The woman had sat behind the large desk in the hidden library near the kitchen at Skyhold, and only a few candles were lit in the room around her. It was peaceful, quiet, and hidden.

With delicate fingers, the Inquisitor slowly opened the bag. She bit her bottom lip, and her eyes burned with mischief and excitement as she felt the small, hard objects within bag. It took nearly all of Natalie’s resolve to not just pour the bag into her hand, empting it of its contents.

She was just about to pull one of the objects from the bag when she heard the creak of the heavy door open from the other end of the library, and Natalie pulled the bag close and hid it behind her back as quickly as she could.

 _“Natalie?”_ It was Cullen, and she could hear his heavy footsteps approach the desk long before she could see him around the table.

“Down here.”

Cullen came around the table and looked down at her sitting on the floor. Leaning a hand on the table, he bent down to place a kiss on the top of her head. “And what, may I ask, are you doing, hiding in the depths of the keep?”

“You may,” Natalie replied, dragging the words along. “But I may not be inclined to tell you the full truth…”

Now he leaned against the table, placing both hands on his hilt and staring down at Natalie. She could tell Cullen wasn’t going to leave, and that her trying to avoid the telling him wasn’t an option.

With a heavy sigh, Natalie shifted over while pulling the bag out from behind her back. “Alright, I’ll show you. But you have to come down here.”

Cullen’s eyebrows rose as he questioned Natalie’s intent, but she watched him undo his sword belt and place it on the table near the old tomes that rested on it, then bend – with some difficulty from the full armor he always wore – and sat down next to her. “What have you been hiding away?”

Taking a deep breath, she took one of Cullen’s gloved hands and turned it so that his palm was up, then turned the bag and poured the contents into it. Small cubes of sugar fell from it, landing in a small pile in the leather material.

Natalie turned her gaze down to her own hands and the empty bag that she pinched between her hands. It was silly to be embarrassed over something that was as simple as sugar, but she was supposed to be the leader of the Inquisition. Sugar cubes were either treats for young children, or something to sweeten tea. Not an adult’s guilty delight.

“Sugar?” she heard Cullen question, and Natalie felt the temperature of her cheeks rise.

“It’s silly and childish,” she whispered as she continued to worry at the bag. “But its… Wonderful and relaxing…”

Cullen’s free hand reached under Natalie’s chin and turned her face so that she was looking at him. She expected to see him judging her, questioning her. But all she saw was the look of the man whose heart belonged with hers, and she couldn’t remember why she had been so embarrassed to tell him.

“It’s not childish,” he whispered back to her, a soft smile on his lips. “No more childish with the joy I feel watching Dorian try to cheat at chess.”

“Chess is the noble man’s game,” Natalie laughed softly, remembering what her father used to say constantly whenever he would ask someone to play. “But sugar-”

“‘Will only make you the sweeter,’ or so my mother told us when she gave them to me.”

Natalie furrowed her eyebrows for a moment, before watching as Cullen tossed one of the cubes into his mouth. Then she watched the side of his lip pull up into a smile, the one he gave her from across the war table when no one was looking; the one that pulled his scar up a little higher along the contours of his face.

He took the bag from Natalie and slid the remaining sugar cubes back into it. “You should never be embarrassed to tell me something about yourself,” he stated as he shifted slightly to stare at her before running a hand over her head and pulling a cobweb away.

Smiling, Natalie slipped up to her knees and leaned to wrap her arms around Cullen’s neck before kissing the space of his neck just below his ear. “That was just what I needed to hear,” she sighed as she nuzzled her face into his neck.

She felt Cullen’s arms tighten around her back as he kissed her shoulder, and then pulled her back a bit so that he could place a kiss hard to her lips. But he pulled back quickly and stared with a puzzled expression at Natalie. “How many pieces of sugar did you have?”

“I’m naturally sweet,” she lied with a chuckle, tasting her own lips and realizing how much sugar was upon them.

Cullen’s expression darkened as his hand ran down the side of Natalie’s breast. “I may have to explore that further.”

But the moment was far too short lived, as a messenger banged open the door and rushed in. “Commander! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! I have the-”

“On my desk!” Cullen shouted, causing Natalie to fall to her side in laughter. She watched the messenger’s feet run in retreat, and the door settle slightly ajar. With a groan, Cullen huffed, “I’m going to kill that man.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For more stories, check out randomnotebookstories.tumblr.com


	6. The Hardest Battle

The entirety of Skyhold was abuzz with excitement for the first time since the defeat of Corypheus, using whatever reason they had to have a celebration. Banners and ribbons crossed over the courtyard, tables were set with the promise of foods from all across Thedas, and guests were starting to approach from the distance on their way to the keep.

Natalie had just finished the last knot behind her back of the dress Josephine insisted that she wore. It was pretty, she had to admit: sunflower yellow and off of her shoulders, tight on her body till it reached her waist, where it billowed out and cascaded in waves down to the floor. A dress fit for the noble that she once was, and the lady her mother had hoped she would become.

“Cullen,” she called over her shoulder as she smoothed her hair back and behind her before turning to find him. He was standing on the balcony, leaning on the railing as he watched the people mill about below.

The Commander was dressed in his armor, though it had just that morning been brought up from the armory, having been polished to a shine. The fur on his pauldrons had been cleaned, and his red cloak seemed an even deeper color as it caught in the breeze. His left hand rested on the hilt of his sword as he gripped the railing with his right.

As quietly as she could, Natalie tiptoed up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist, causing Cullen to jump slightly before his hand left the sword’s hilt to run his hand along her arms. “What’s distracting your mind?” she asked as she looked up at him, watching his lips curl in a small smile as he glanced down at her.

But the smile lasted for just a moment as his gaze fell back to the preparations below them, and Natalie could feel his body shift as he sighed heavily. “Whoever decided all of this was necessary-”

“That would be Josephine.”

“Then I’ll need to have a word with her,” Cullen lightly chuckled, but Natalie knew it was only half-hearted. She slipped under his arm so that she was between him and the rail, and looked up at him, a soft smile still on her face. He brought one of his gloved hands up to her cheek and stroked his thumb up and over her stars. “Is this how it was when you were younger?”

“Whenever my parents would throw a party or a ball?” she asked as she glanced over her shoulder. “There were fewer people invited, but yes, usually this is how it would look.”

Cullen sighed heavily and pulled her tight to him, resting his head upon her shoulder and nuzzling her neck. “We don’t have to go down there just yet, do we?”

“The Commander of the greatest army in Thedas, and you can’t go and face a few nobles?” Natalie asked as she brought a hand up and stroked her fingers through his hair, knowing that he’ll make a disgruntled comment when he notices pieces of his hair is out of place.

“Do you not remember the Winter Palace? This will be worse,” he chuckled, catching her hand from his hair and bringing it to his lips. “I’d rather face a hundred armies than go down there at this moment.”

Natalie pulled away from Cullen and looked up at him. What was to come wouldn’t be easy on either of them: having to be on their best standards the entire time their guests were there. That also meant she wouldn’t be allowed to pull pranks with Sera or get drunk in the tavern with Iron Bull after a day of hard training. But she knew she could at least always hold onto Cullen’s hand the entire time. No more hiding their love from the rest of the world.

The sound of a horn in the distance pulled both of their attentions away from one another as a caravan of horses and carriages pulled up onto the bridge, heading for Skyhold. “Now our presence is needed,” Natalie smiled softly as she headed into the bedroom, waiting a moment for Cullen to follow her.

“What if they don’t approve of me?”

Natalie looked back at Cullen with a puzzled expression. “My family?” she asked, waiting the few moments for him to catch up with her. “Why wouldn’t they approve? A man devoted to the Chantry, a great commander of an army, and the man with the strongest heart to ever love their daughter? You’ll do just fine.”

But Cullen hung his head, and stared at his hands as they rested on his sword. “I’m not of noble birth, Natalie. How could they approve of your choice?”

She placed both hands on the side of his face, forcing him to meet her gaze before she placed a heated kiss on his lips. “If they ever find reason to deny the choice I have made in the man I love,” she said as she pulled him down so that Cullen’s forehead rested upon her own, “then I will remind them I’m the Inquisitor and that I don’t need their guidance since I do control an entire Inquisition without their help.”

“We could always just leave now and head for Lake Calenhad,” he offered, watching as Natalie took a step away from him.

Natalie just stared back at him, then grasped his hand tightly and nearly dragged him behind her and toward the door and the stairs to the main hall. “You’re meeting them today, like you promised. And in a fortnight, we’re traveling to meet your family in Honnleath.”

“Maker’s breath, who made all of these arrangements?” he asked with a heavy sigh, but a smile on his lips, as he allowed Natalie to drag him down the stairs.

“Josephine,” she replied with a chuckle, heading through another doorway and the last set of stairs before they hit the main hall. “We should really thank her.”

Just before she opened the door, Cullen pushed Natalie up against the wall and trapped her body between his and the stones. He stared down at her as he brought a hair up and through her hair, grasping the nape of her neck and pulling her into a heated kiss, his mouth claiming hers. When he pulled away, he gazed down at her, then kissed her forehead softly and pulled away. “I will definitely send her my regards for that dress she chose for you,” Cullen chuckled, resting his hand on the handle for the door. “And I will quite like to see how it will look tonight on the floor of our quarters.”

Before Natalie could remark, or fully process what he said, the door to the main hall was opened, and Cullen was holding his arm out for her to take. “Shall we face this battle together?”

She smiled warmly at him and ran a hand quickly through her hair to remove the tangles that formed from Cullen’s hand. Then, Natalie went to him, wrapping her arms around his extended one. “This one, and whatever other battles come our way.”


	7. Take a Breath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, guys. No Cullen in this one. But it shows the beginning of Natalie and Dorian's friendship.

Night was just starting to fall in the Hinterlands as Inquisitor Trevelyan and her companions settled back into camp for the evening. But her work wasn’t finished yet. Natalie had several new requisitions reports to go over, letters about nobles who were sending condolences after what happened at Haven, notes on the progress of the soldiers’ training…

So many notes and parchments, and Natalie didn’t even know where to start. She was happy to have gotten away from the mess of Skyhold, but it seemed as though it all went with her.

“Have a moment to spare?” Dorian poked his head into Natalie’s tent, and she shifted over on her raised bedroll to make space for him to sit next to her.

“I have all the time if it gets me away from Skyhold’s problems for a moment,” Natalie answered as she dropped the papers to the floor as Dorian sat beside her. “What can I do for you?”

“Take a walk,” he simply stated, and Natalie stared at him with a puzzled expression. “Your mind is too entwined with this Inquisition, and since they’ve made you Inquisitor, it’s only gotten worse. When was the last time you’ve given yourself a chance to just be yourself?”

“I can’t, Dorian,” she sighed as she pulled her legs up and underneath of herself. “I need to prove that I can do this.”

Natalie watched as Dorian stood, but he didn’t make to leave the tent. He slowly turned and faced her, a twisted smile on his face. “No,” she stated, fixing a stern eye on him. “No, I know that look, and it terrifies me. The next thing that’ll happen is that you’ll be dragging me off to do something stupid.”

“You’re right,” he smirked back at her. “Get up and meet me outside. Don’t bring your armor.”

A few moments later, Natalie met Dorian on the edge of camp – Iron Bull and Sera already in their tents for the night. The mage led the Inquisitor away from the camp and down the path of a brook, following it until it became a small river. That small river became a larger river where it fell off of a cliff and into a large awaiting pool beneath it.

“Strip to your smalls,” Dorian stated as he began to remove his clothes, but when he saw Natalie hesitate, he rolled his eyes at her. “We’re both adults here, and I’m quite sure you’ll be able to keep your hands off of me. I know I will be able to stay my hands.”

When Natalie saw how comfortable Dorian was, she drew upon his confidence and removed her shirt and trousers, followed by her boots and socks. The air against her bare flesh instantly drew out all of her warmth, and she shivered. “Okay, now what? We freeze?”

Dorian stepped into the river and right up to the very edge before he turned back to Natalie. “Now, you jump.”

“I what?” Natalie gasped as her eyes flickered to the falls and then back to Dorian, her toes just being covered by the water.

Dorian walked back to Natalie and steered her to the edge of the water fall. “You heard me clearly. It’s plenty deep enough. All you have to do is let yourself go.”

She looked for a long time at Dorian, then finally brought her eyes to look down at the water that was crashing before her. Natalie knew that it was plenty deep enough, safe enough to jump into the pool. A voice in the back of her mind was telling her to take the step over the edge while another part of her mind tried to convince her that it was a foolish thing to do. So she did as she was told, and took the step over.

The water enveloped her fully, freezing her body almost instantly, but still sending waves of excitement and exhilaration throughout her entire body. When her head finally broke the surface, the splash of water from Dorian landing into the pool beside her hit her in the face, and Natalie couldn’t help but laugh as she brushed her hair away from her face.

When Dorian reappeared above the surface of the water, his perfect hair was plastered to his face, causing Natalie to laugh even harder. “You don’t exactly have the best hair, either, at the moment,” he chuckled back as the two floated about. “How do you feel now?”

A million words and emotions filled her mid: cold, tired, weightless. Relaxed. For the first time since she fell out of the Fade, Natalie honestly felt like she could breathe for a moment. “How did you know that was what I need? Does Tevinter have a weird cultural habit of its people jumping off of things?”

“Truly, you’re hysterical,” Dorian stated, flatly, as he lightly glared at her. “The stress was written on your face all day. You need to find ways to release it, even if it’s jumping off of a cliff. But, please, if you take that option, make sure there’s something to land safely on.”

“I’m not sure how often I’ll be jumping off of things, Dorian,” Natalie laughed as she watched her hands glide just under the surface of the water. “But, thank you for caring enough to see to me being alright.”

Dorian smiled at Natalie. “You are quite welcome. Now, let’s get out of this water and back to somewhere dry and warm. I never truly knew how freezing Ferelden was until this moment.”


	8. War Room Report - NSFWish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nsfw-ish...

Natalie stood on the other side of the war table, a small smirk on her face as she watched Cullen read through reports, hers next in his pile. She was talking with Josephine and Leliana about finding a quick and safe path to the Temple of Mythal before Corypheus, and Cullen was supposed to be listening, but he was only giving half of his attention.

The Inquisitor watched as he turned to her report, and his back straightened slightly. While Natalie had promised to give a report on her most recent trip to the Hissing Wastes - which was a waste of a journey itself - no one said that she couldn’t embellish upon it.

Cullen glanced up at Natalie and gave her a slight half-grin as he turned his eyes back to the fake report. By that point, she knew that he would be reading about how she missed him on the cold nights and hot days, how she thought about his voice constantly. There were detailed parts of how she imagined his hands on her naked flesh while his mouth bit and laid claim to every inch of her.

It was nearly impossible for Natalie to keep her amusement down as Cullen’s full attention went to the parchment in his hand. “What have our scouts told of the area?” she asked as she studied the markers on the table.

“It’s much like the rest of the Arbor Wilds – full of elvhen ruins,” Leliana explained as she crossed her arms in front of her. “And plenty of places for Corypheus’s army to hide.”

“Indeed,” Cullen chimed in, his eyes not once leaving the paper.

“Empress Celene is prepared to send the rest of her forces at moment’s notice,” Josephine added as she handed the Inquisitor the letter from the Empress herself. “The chevaliers will be a great addition to our forces.”

“Indeed.”

Josephine and Leliana glanced at Cullen, then back to Natalie who feigned a look of innocence back at them. With a wicked grin, Leliana turned to Cullen and asked, “You did sign the papers to be married off to one of the Orlesian ladies that you met at the ball, correct, Commander?”

“Indeed.”

Natalie finally laughed as Leliana, looking triumphant, exclaimed, “I knew he hasn’t been listening,” which startled Cullen back to reality.

“What have you been paying so much attention to, Commander?” Josephine asked with a giggle as she took the paper from Cullen’s unsuspecting grasp.

Neither he nor Natalie could stop Josephine from reading the paper before it was too late, and they watched in embarrassment as the ambassador’s face flushed, placing the paper down on the table. They couldn’t meet Josephine’s shocked expression or Leliana’s knowing gaze.

“I believe we should give our Inquisitor and Commander a moment, don’t you, Josie?” Leliana asked as she guided her friend toward the door out of the room.

“In the war room?” Josephine practically shouted before the Spy Master ushered herself and the Ambassador out of the room.

Once the door closed, Natalie had nearly doubled-over in laughter as Cullen maneuvered around the table to stand next to her. “Maker’s breath, are you purposefully trying to give Leliana any more leverage over me? She already uses ever weapon her mind has at chess to cheat, and she’s getting more difficult to beat.”

“No one told you to read it at the war table,” Natalie pointed out as she grabbed his hand in hers, twining her fingers together.

Cullen chuckled in a low voice as his other hand wrapped her waist, his body moving to trap her between him and the table. “You knew what it would do to me,” he lightly growled in a low voice as he pressed himself against her, pressing his hardening length against her.”And I am quite certain you feel the same way at this moment, if your report was of any truth.”

Natalie took a deep breath in as her free hand reached up and wrapped into his hair. Cullen took that as invitation to bring his mouth to her neck, giving her hard, opened mouth kisses and bit lightly on her. She sighed and squeezed his hand that she still held, as he squeezed his hand against her waist.

A slight mark was beginning to form as Cullen pulled his mouth away from her neck, and he brought his lips to hers, opening them and pulling her bottom lip into his mouth. As he bit her lip and explored Natalie’s mouth with his own, Cullen untangled his hand from hers and pulled open the top three buttons of her tunic, sliding his hand under it and pushing her breastband below the swell of her breasts.

When his hand made contact with the sensitive flesh of her breast, Natalie released a small gasp, and Cullen chuckled as he went back to marking the side of her neck. Natalie ran her arms up Cullen’s chest, cursing the armor that prevented her from touching the strong muscles that hid beneath.

Natalie groaned in displeasure at not being able to reach his flesh, and Cullen smiled wickedly as he removed his hand from the focus on her breast to lift her up and onto the table. Slowly, he focused on releasing every button as Natalie watched his unwavering eyes. He didn’t bother pushing her top off of her shoulders before he began to kiss his way down to her collarbone, where he slowly bit and ran his tongue further down and toward her breasts. Natalie moaned at the mere thought of him pulling her breast into the warmth of his mouth.

The door to the War Room slammed open, and Cullen straightened, pulling Natalie close to him to hide her exposed body from the intruder. With a look over his shoulder, though, the two relaxed slightly, but an embarrassed flush warmed both of their skins.

Josephine stood in the doorway, glaring heavily at them, with Leliana standing behind her, giggling to herself. “Not. On. The. War Table!”


	9. The Longest Night - part 1 and 2

Blonde curls bounced as the young girl chased the blue butterfly as the stubby little fingers reached up for it. The girl had to be no more than two, but already she acted as though the world was hers to rule. Hazel eyes shown with intelligence, and each new word was used an infinite amount of times until it nearly lost its meaning.

The girl had the best of both her parents: her mother’s love for a good story and her father’s kind heart. Or so Natalie Trevelyan thought as she watched her daughter run about the garden.

“We’ll have to buy her another dress,” Leliana chuckled next to Natalie as they watched her stumble, getting covered in mud left from the previous night’s rain.

“Or maybe several,” Natalie countered with a smile. While she may not have liked to have all the latest dresses, her daughter chose to put up with wearing nothing aside a dress. And she did look beautiful in them. “As soon as Cullen returns from that exercise he took some of the recruits on, we’ll go straight to Orlais.”

“When is the Commander expected to return?” Leliana asked, tearing her gaze away from the child to glance at the Inquisitor.

“Tonight, before dusk,” Natalie sighed with a glance at the sky. It was almost dusk, and there still was no sign of Cullen or the small number of soldiers he had taken with him. They had been gone for nearly a fortnight, and it was always at the back of Natalie’s mind how much she had missed him. “Is this how Cullen acts whenever I’m called away?”

“No, he’s far worse,” Leliana laughed. “I am sure you have something planned for his return?”

A mischievous grin graced Natalie’s face. “Oh, I’m sure you’ll find out all about it with your ways.”

In truth, it wasn’t anything unlike most of their reunions. She planned a quite dinner, just the two of them, in their room. The governess would watch their daughter until she and Cullen went and put her to bed. Then, she would tell him what she wanted to tell him for days. When she could finally see his face and hold him in her arms, she would be able to finally tell him all the things that had been dragging through her mind, things that only he would understand. 

The cry of the young girl pulled her back to the present, and Natalie saw her daughter sitting on the ground, tears streaming from her eyes as she clutched her knees. Natalie quickly went to her daughter, sitting beside her and scooping her up into her arms. “My sweet, sweet Alisa,” she cooed into her daughter’s hair as she checked her knees, one of which was lightly skinned, but nothing serious. “You’re all right.”

“Ouchie!” she cried harder, her small hands gripping into Natalie’s arm. “Ouchie ouchie ouchie!”

“I know,” Natalie hummed as she stood, holding Alisa to her chest as she carried her to where a small pond had been built in the garden. She sat on the rock edge, placing Alisa on her lap as she pulled a handkerchief from her trouser pocket.

Natalie dipped the edge of the cloth into the cool water of the pond, fish swimming away from her fingers, before laying the edge onto Alisa’s knee. “There. That’ll feel much better real soon.”

Tears still stained Alisa’s cheeks, but the girl had stopped crying, her attention focused on the fish that swam next to her. Natalie sat with Alisa on her lap for a long moment, enjoying the comfort of the small gift that she and Cullen had created.

When Natalie found out she was pregnant, it was the day she found that Corypheus had made his last move against the Inquisition, and had reopened the rift. She kept the knowledge from Cullen, knowing that if he had found out, he wouldn’t have let her go. Wouldn’t have let her risk their child’s life, but there was no other hope.

When she had told Cullen that she was pregnant while the two watched the sun rise the following morning, he nearly killed from his anger. But it quickly had turned to affection, which was like most of their fights: yelling and screaming one moment, kissing and laughter the next. Though he had still used the fact she lied about that to win over many arguments.

Like the argument about him leaving Skyhold. Natalie couldn’t make sense as to why Cullen thought it necessary to train soldiers in the wilderness, especially since they had no open threats at the moment. But he ended the argument with “You’ve left me plenty of times in Skyhold, worrying if you’d returned. You can handle a few days of my absence, knowing I will return.”

Alisa wiggled out of Natalie’s arms to lean over the pond, tracing the swimming fish with her fingers. Leliana had come over to the Inquisitor, followed by Alisa’s governess, a worried expression on her face. “I need you to come with me, Inquisitor,” she simply said as the governess sat next to Alisa.

Natalie stood and followed as Leliana walked into the main hall, the Spymaster’s pace quickening as the door closed behind the two women. “What happened?”

“A raven brought a message,” she answered as she headed for the courtyard. “The soldiers are nearing Skyhold , but there are some injuries. They should be coming to the bridge soon.”

“‘Injuries,’” Natalie repeated, shocked, as she caught up to Leliana. “Who sent the note?”

“It bore no signature,” she answered, her gaze catching Natalie’s for a moment, and the worry between them lingered. “But we’ll know soon enough.”

Faces blurred past Natalie as she held herself tall and determined, masking the look of the Inquisitor who was worried for her soldiers. But, on the inside, she was falling apart as she scanned the faces of the soldiers who started to come into view on the bridge, looking for Cullen’s.

A messenger ran ahead of them, reaching Natalie, Leliana, and Josephine – where she came from, Natalie couldn’t remember – just as they walked through the gates. “What happened?”

“A recruit was tracking a Fennec when he stepped out onto a frozen waterfall,” the messenger answered, keeping pace with the women as they wove their way through the soldiers. “The ice began to break, and the recruit fell through. My lady…” the messenger’s gaze landed on a wagon that was coming up, a group of soldiers milling about it. Natalie stopped walking and looked at the messenger who had stopped walking, as well. “The Commander noticed and rushed for the recruit. He pulled him out of the water, but the Commander’s armor was too much added weight for the thin ice. The falls began to rush, and they both-”

Natalie broke into a sprint, forgetting all decorum as the back of her mind kept repeating and screaming “no.” But as she got closer, more things told her that the messenger was correct. Soldiers avoided her gaze, parted their way for her as she pushed past. Everyone was eerily quiet.

A surgeon and a healing stood in the cart as the horse dragged it across the bridge, whispering to each other as they worked on the two bodies that were in the cart. While the cart was moving, Natalie placed her foot onto the step on the side of the cart and heaved herself onto the wide edge of the cart, sitting with one leg hanging off the edge, and the other on the floor.

“Inquisitor,” the surgeon muttered before going back to work on the recruit who flinched as she pulled a needled through his arm, stitching a cut that would certainly leave a scar.

But the healer – who was closer to Natalie – said nothing as he stood over-top of Cullen’s lifeless body. His armor had been removed, and his pale skin made his closed eyes looked as though they were bruised. There was a cut on his left cheekbone that ran from his nose and followed the curve just under his eye, and his chest was covered in bruises.

A soldier she did know walked alongside the cart, and saw her worried expression. “His armor left the bruises,” he stated as he kept his eyes respectfully lowered. “Probably saved him from broken bones, but it dragged him to the bottom of the lake. We pulled him up as quickly as we could.”

The cart came to a halt, and Natalie almost fell from the cart if Iron Bull hadn’t been there to place a hand on her back to keep her up. All of her companions had gathered, and helped to take the recruit and Cullen from the cart.

“Inquisitor,” the recruit called as he reached for Natalie. She paused for a moment, watching as they hurried Cullen to the infirmary, then sighed and turned to the recruit. “I’m sorry. I should have known-”

“Get well,” Natalie cut him off as she rested hand on his shoulder. “You can’t beat yourself up on this. But use the experience to learn from. Excuse me.”

As quick as she could, she ran after where they took Cullen, fearing that every moment she didn’t have her eyes on him, something would happen. She took all steps two at a time, threw open whatever door that was in her way without a care, pushed past people. And worried for Alisa.

“Inquisitor!” Natalie had almost ran past the hallway that the infirmary was in, sliding to a stop when someone called her title.

She saw the healer who was with Cullen, now standing outside of slightly closed door, and ran to his side. “Why aren’t you with him?” she questioned, fear gripping at her.

“There’s little more I can do,” he answered, hanging his head slightly as he rubbed his hands and the muscles beneath the skin. “Now, it’s up to him.”

“What does that mean?”

The healer sighed and looked at her, his face emotionless. “I mean that it’s up to the Commander to wake up. And the longer he sleeps, the less likely he’ll survive.”

Natalie’s breath caught in her throat, and she held herself tightly as she wrapped her arms around her body. Cullen had told her to return when she went after Corypheus, and she did. Now, to think that he wouldn’t return to her… “He promised,” she whispered, so quietly she barely even heard what she said.

The room was quiet, and although there were two beds available in the room, only the one that Cullen occupied was filled. He didn’t look peaceful, as he had the last night he slept in their bed. He looked like half of the man that he truly was, there was no emotion on his face, nothing to show if he was dreaming. And he looked frail, as though he was made of Orlesian lace.

Natalie sat on the bed next to him, her hand shaking as she placed it onto his stomach, feeling the slow rise and fall of his breath. “You have to wake up,” she whispered, tears daring to fall from her eyes. “Cullen… I can’t do this without you.”

She slowly laid down on the edge of the bed next to him, resting her head on the corner of the pillow and taking great care to not touch his bruised body. Her fingers tangled around Cullen’s, her palm resting on the top of his hand as her fingers brushed his palms, and she hoped that he would close his fingers around hers. But they didn’t even flinch.

“You can’t leave me,” she softly cried, letting only her nose touch his shoulder, taking in his scent that was starting to dull. “You promised… You were supposed to be the end of my fairy tale, like the ones you tell Alisa. My happily ever after. And you need to be able to tell the stories to our next child. You need to wake up, Cullen. I’m with child, and I can’t do it without you. Who else will be able to calm my mind when it begins to panic? We need you in our lives still. You promised to teach Alisa to ride, and it’s your turn to pick the child’s name. I’ll let you name him Douglas, like you wanted to call Alisa if she were a boy. I’ll never argue with you again or leave inappropriate reports in the war room to embarrass you purposefully. Just wake up.”

The faint sound of Natalie’s cries and her heart beat in her ears seemed to fill the silence of the room, and if someone were to walk in at that moment, she wouldn’t care. Cassandra could come back to Skyhold with the entire Chantry at her heals, and Natalie wouldn’t move from Cullen’s side.

Her mind raced with what she would tell Alisa: that her father is home but she can’t see him till he was better, or that she could see him though he may never wake. Natalie remembered how her own father was such an important part of her life, and how she couldn’t imagine growing up without him. She couldn’t imagine Alisa and the new baby not having that part of their life.

All Natalie could do was lay there, listening to Cullen slowly breath. And pray to Andraste and the Maker to return her husband to her side.

\--

 

The tears had run dry, though Natalie still felt like she could cry harder if it were possible. Time began to slip past her, but she was only aware of her and Cullen each breathing at the same speed. Her eyes were barely aware that it was starting to grow darker out and that someone had lit a candle by the door.

Somewhere at the back of her mind, she knew she should find Alisa, that the small child would be worried. But Natalie couldn’t bring herself to get off the bed, to leave Cullen’s side. Worry that Cullen wouldn’t make it if she left held her there, but Natalie knew that if she saw their daughter, she wouldn’t be able to keep a strong composure. She’d fall apart right before the child, and she couldn’t do that to her daughter.

So Natalie clung to Cullen’s hand, drawing whatever strength she had left and hoping for him to take it. “Please,” she whispered, her voice broken from crying and exhaustion. “I need you to wake up.”

But there was still no change. Cullen just slept on, his hair starting to curl and fall out of place. Natalie thought for a moment to fix it; to slick it back the way he preferred it. Instead, she hoped that, by not fixing his hair, it would bother him so much that he’d be forced to wake up.

Her back began to ache, and with a final, longing glance up at Cullen’s face, she stood from the bed and began to walk around the room. By the candle, someone had left a basin of water and a few loaves of bread. The bread was still slightly warm to the touch, and Natalie broke part of it and placed it in her mouth. But it felt like nothing more than a weight being added to her.

If she hadn’t trained for the worst scenarios in life, Natalie wouldn’t have kept herself eating, but she knew that she had to. If, for anything, strength: she had no idea if she’d fall back into an unmovable state. So she kept eating, just half of the loaf, but enough that she wouldn’t starve.

There were voices just outside of the door, no doubt her friends giving her their support while also their respect. They were a part of her family, and knowing that they were close warmed her heart, while at the same time, allowed her to know that they were watching out for her. Caring for Alisa, for the unborn baby by making sure she ate. Natalie almost smiled, thinking of how far they had all come from the beginning of the Inquisition.

She took a cloth from the basin filled with water, dampened it, and ran it over her neck to cool herself off. Then, she carried it and the basin to Cullen’s bedside, setting it down on the table beside the bed.

“I think you’re faking it now,” she mumbled to herself as she ran the cloth through the water, then brought it out and ran it over Cullen’s chest, washing away the last signs that he had ever left Skyhold. “You were begging for me to join you in the tub before you left, but I was exhausted and not feeling well. At least now I have a reason for not feeling well.”

It was a repetitive task, something to easily keep her mind off of what was happening: dip the cloth in the basin, run out the excess of water, run it over Cullen’s body to remove the dirt. Natalie took extra care as she cleaned his face, feeling the roughness on his skin, in need of a shave. Her fingers traced his lips, the scar that bit the top one, the corner that always pulled up whenever he had a wicked idea or was feeling rather smug of himself.

“I’m sure it’s going to be a boy,” she stated as she finally gave up on watching his hair fall into his face. “And if you believe Alisa is like me, then this one will surely be all you: constantly being a distraction because of his devilishly good looks and cursing the Maker under his breath whenever he’s flustered.

“Though, I pray to Andraste, that he has my hair,” she chuckled as she focused on her hands cleaning out the cloth. “It’s not fair that Alisa has yours to me, nor to her, whenever I want to take a brush through those curls.”

_“You lie.”_

The voice startled Natalie, and she rose and turned to the door. But no one stood there, and it was still firmly shut. _“You love her hair.”_

Her back grew ridged, and she looked down and behind her to the bed. Though still weak, Cullen flashed a soft smile at her, the side of his lip rising as he softly blinked at her, his eyes barely being able to stay open. Natalie nearly collapsed onto him as she circled her arms under his neck, hearing an audible gasp when she hit his bruised chest.

“I’m sorry,” she softly laughed as she pulled away, kissing his forehead before staring down at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

“You could never hurt me,” he chuckled, a hand pushing her hair from her face.

Natalie gently glared at him. “I do believe that I nearly broke your cheek once, and your arm.”

“And my dignity as the Commander of the army,” Cullen chuckled back, wincing slightly and bringing an arm to his chest. He leaned his head back, taking slow breaths as Natalie pushed his hair from his face. “Now, what is it about you being pregnant?”

She was shocked for a moment, and then smiled down at him gently. “I found out the day after you left. I wanted to surprise you gently, unlike how I told you with Alisa.”

Cullen leaned up and brought his lips to hers, pulling her head down with him as he rested his head back on the pillow. “Aside from this not being our room,” Cullen spoke against her lips, “I find that this was far better than the first time.”

Natalie pulled away. “I don’t. I thought you were surely dead. And, as the Inquisitor, I’m deeming it unfit for the Commander to train recruits. Leave that to the captains.”

“Agreed,” he smirked as he twisted his hand in her hair and pulled her back for a kiss, forcing her mouth open for a more heated kiss that left him panting from fatigue. “We’ll continue this once I've rested.”

“Until then, shall I find your daughter?” Natalie asked as she sat back, staring down at Cullen with raised eyebrows. “She has many things, I’m sure, that she’d like to tell you. Like how she may have gotten herself a mabari,” she finished, the last bit coming out quickly.

“Yes, please,” he whispered, shifting his eyes shut to rest. Natalie left a kiss to his forehead before heading toward the door, but as soon as her hand rested on the door’s handle, she heard Cullen grumble, “You said we have obtained a mabari?”

“Small one,” she smiled, pinching her fingers together. “And it may have imprinted on me and not Alisa.” She heard Cullen curse under his breath as she slipped out the door, knowing he’d be less angry with Alisa excitedly talking about the mabari pup than Natalie trying to explain it to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was originally seperated into two different parts on tumblr, but for convenience, I posted them both together.


	10. Good Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was in response to a prompt I found on tumblr (http://everkings.tumblr.com/post/108673474156/so-i-had-a-sweet-preferring-to-be-anon-follower)  
> I had to write a story on one of the images, and include the words that were given. I chose picture number 8 of Cullen laying on a bed, shirtless, reading over papers, and I had to include the words "maps, "tevinter," and "horses".

Natalie couldn’t sleep, and she rolled over in her bed for the millionth time to stare out of the elegant glass doors that led to the balcony. The sky was still dark, and it must have been in the thick of the night. Most people – normal people – would have been asleep. But Natalie’s mind continued to run at full speed.

“Fresh air will clear my head,” she thought to herself as she slid the blankets off of herself to reach for her warm robe: a gift from some Orlesian noble. It was made of thick, white fur with the color the grey color of a fennec, and plenty warm enough to protect her body clad in just her forest-green silk nightgown from the chill of the night.

A pair of slippers – gold with green accents sent from her family in Ostwick – replaced her boots and made her footsteps nearly silent as she walked the battlements. Below her, in the stables, she could hear the heavy sighs of a few horses, and the grunt of one as it stood up from its restful sleep to stretch its legs. Natalie, in a way, felt jealous of the horses: their minds were at ease enough to sleep while her own always fell back to the nightmare that her life seemed to be a part of lately. How anyone could sleep… the thought was beyond her own.

But someone else was awake. In the tower that the Commander used as his office and quarters, Natalie saw the flicker of light from a candle in one of the cracks from Cullen’s room. A smile ghosted over her lips as Natalie opened one of the door’s to Cullen’s office quietly before making her way to the ladder.

Sure enough, Cullen was awake, lying on his side in only a pair of light trousers while reading and studying the papers that cluttered his bed. When he saw Natalie’s head, then the rest of her, come up the ladder, a smile crept on his lips as he sat up. “You’re awake.”

“Unfortunately,” she sighed as she hugged the robe to her body, the chill of the air threatening to reach her skin. “My mind can’t stop thinking about what happened in Orlais… With Florianne attempting to kill the Empress, the game they play… I hardly doubt my mind will ever be at rest after that.”

Cullen moved some papers to clear a space on his bed before moving himself over to invite Natalie to lie next to him. Natalie, in turn, slipped off her slippers and joined him on the bed, placing her head against his shoulder as his arm wrapped around her. “You are one of the most compassionate people I have ever met,” he whispered before placing a kiss to her head. “The fact that what happened at the Winter Palace is still bothering you speaks about your character, and it is certainly not a weakness.”

“I wish it would allow me sleep,” she sighed as she picked up one of the papers on the other side of Cullen. “Maps? What are you studying?”

Cullen groaned as he looked at the map Natalie was holding. “Everywhere. Tevinter, Fereldan, the Free Marches… They all mark the paths where I’ve sent soldiers. That way, if someone goes missing, I’ll know where they were supposed to be and what route they've taken.”

Natalie shifted, moving to rest her head against Cullen’s chest as she let out a yawn. “You’re a good man, you know,” she whispered, feeling his hand on her back absentmindedly rub up and down gently along her spine. “Your past may haunt you, but it also helped you to become the man you are now.”

Warmth flowed through Cullen as he glanced down at Natalie, the stars that he loved to kiss moving slightly with the skin under her left eye. “I know a way to help you to sleep, if you’d like my help.”

“As long as it doesn’t involve a trek to the Hinterlands, I’ll agree to anything.”

Cullen collected the papers and dropped them off of the side of his bed before leaning over Natalie to blow out the candles. He helped her slid off her warm robe, and clutched her tight to his chest when she shivered against the cold before pulling the blanket up and over them.

Then, he took one of her hands between his own, rubbing the muscles with his thumbs, slowly applying pressure to the back of it and the palm. He focused on relaxing the tendons between each of her fingers, moving his way down to her wrist and the heel of her hand, before going even further down to her arm before working his way back up to her hand.

Content, Natalie sighed, closing her eyes and focusing on the slight pressure that Cullen applied. Thoughts began to drift back into her mind, and she could finally feel sleep tugging harder at the back of her mind. The last thought in her mind before sleep finally won its war was of Cullen’s rough hand holding hers, and how gentle, warm, and safe she felt.

A gentle smile lazily hung on Cullen’s face as he rested Natalie’s hand back down, her body nestled against his chest. It amazed him how peaceful she looked, and then he remembered how Natalie stayed with him the night that the lyrium withdrawal raged across his body. How her gentle and caring touch let him relax enough to sleep.

Finally, he allowed himself to place a kiss to the star tattooed furthest from her eye on her cheek, then pushed her hair back behind her ear. In that moment, he thanked the Maker for letting him have her, the woman who helped him with the nightmares of his past. And he promised to help her with the nightmares of her present.


	11. The Cry of Spring

Most of Skyhold was silent. The sun was beginning to set, soldiers were beginning to set their weapons down to enjoy a meal and laughter among friends, and the keep had brought the first breath of warmth as spring finally settled over them. After the defeat of Corypheus only a few months earlier, every day was far nicer and a blessing.

But faint screams cold be heard in the main hall, and the companions of the Inquisitor milled about the tables. Dorian cracked a joke every now and then with Iron Bull, Cassandra glared at every guest of the Inquisition who dared to walk into the main hall, and Varric was taking bets. Every single one of them, however, knew that something was wrong.

Natalie had been in labor nearly all afternoon, and with it growing later and later, with no sight of the Inquisitor, Cullen, nor the healers and midwives, it was beginning to look bleak to them. The first happy event for those of the Inquisition, and it looked like it was going to be taken away from all of them.

Up in the Inquisitor’s rooms, Cullen sat with Natalie between his legs, holding her to her chest and the midwife left her for a moment to gather more heated water from the fireplace.   
“This is your fault, you know,” Natalie panted, her hair plastered to her face as she shifted her head against Cullen’s chest, rubbing her cheek against his shirt.

The brave Commander looked exhausted, his own hair ruffled and a bruise forming on his hand from Natalie’s grip. “My fault?” he questioned, shifting to look down at her.

Slowly, as though the move took whatever strength she had, Natalie nodded. “If you weren’t so devilishly handsome and had wooed me to your bed…”

"You’re making jokes on something you started?" He wasn’t sure if this was the Natalie he loved, or a new woman who was starting to lose her mind from exhaustion.

"You cleared your desk," Natalie reminded with a soft chuckle, but the moment was short lived as another contraction racked through her body.

She clenched at Cullen’s hand as the midwife ordered her to push, her teeth grinding together as she tried to stifle back another scream. Natalie heard childbirth was uncomfortable, but this… This she would happily trade with fighting off ten dragons.

"You’re almost there," the elven midwife gently said as she looked up at Natalie. "Just a little while longer."

"You’ve said that already." There was supposed to be venom in Natalie’s voice when she said this, but she was practically lifeless weight against Cullen, her words holding none of the threat that it should have.

She could feel Cullen’s one hand rubbing her shoulder while his lips whispered words of encouragement against her hairline, his other hand never letting go of hers. Natalie had to remind herself later to profusely apologize the damage she was doing to his left hand, knowing he wouldn’t be able to hold his shield properly for a few days.

"I can’t do this anymore," Natalie finally whispered to Cullen, the words barely falling over her lips. "It’s too much."

"Yes, you can," he stated, his eyes catching her gaze. They were so sure, so exact, like he knew exactly what he was saying. "You must try." Never before had Natalie wanted to give up, but in that moment, she wanted nothing more than to do just that. And Cullen knew it.

Natalie saw the look in his eyes, the desperation, knowing that he wanted to help her but was utterly helpless. The only thing he could do was encourage her and support her. “Alright,” she whispered as she felt another contraction build.

"One last time," the midwife said with a gentle smile, and Natalie felt every muscle in her body use its last ounce of strength. Her eyes shut and her throat burned with a scream, the only things she was aware of was the pain and Cullen whispering something to her.

Then… bliss. And the soft cry of a child.

Natalie breathed heavily as Cullen repeatedly kissed her face. A healer switched places with the midwife as the elf brought over a small, wiggling, screaming package. “Would you like to meet your daughter?”

"Yes," Cullen’s voice gently laughed while it cracked. He left his ministrations of kissing Natalie’s face as the midwife placed the girl into Natalie’s arms.

The baby’s face was beat red from screaming heavily, eyes pinched and nose wrinkled. Blonde fuzz dusted across the top of her head, and her tiny fingers flexed open and closed. “You’re hair,” Natalie chuckled as she ran her fingers over the hair. “She has your hair.”

When she didn’t get a reply, Natalie looked at Cullen. Tears were sliding down his cheeks as he stared down at the little girl, awe and adoration filling his eyes. Natalie brought her right hand up to catch the side of his cheek, rubbing her thumb over his chin. “You’re crying.”

The simple touch seemed to pull Cullen out of his trance, but only enough for him to capture Natalie’s lips with his. It wasn’t heated or passionate, but gentle, as though he were telling her a secret. “I love you. With all my heart,” he told her, then he looked down at the small bundle in his wife’s arms. “And, you.”

Natalie shifted slightly to allow Cullen to take the child from her, then he stood and walked around, the baby’s screams settling into soft whimpers. “We haven’t thought of a name.”

"You have so," Natalie answered with a smile. "For the past few weeks, you’ve been saying her name while you slept. How you even knew it was a girl, I have no idea."

"I have?" His eyes left the baby for a moment to look at Natalie, who nodded in return.

"You started saying, ‘My Alisa.’"

She watched Cullen look down at his daughter, now almost completely silent against his chest. “Alisa,” he chuckled, running a finger over her cheek. “I like it. Do you?”

She laughed softly as Cullen walked back over to her, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Alisa is perfect,” she agreed, reaching up to hold one of the baby’s hands, Alisa wrapping her tiny fingers around one of Natalie’s. “Go take her to meet the rest of our family,” she whispered, not wanting to let go of the baby’s hands. But she knew she needed to rest, and Cullen wasn’t going to let their daughter out of their sight. “I’m sure they’ve been eager to meet little Alisa.”

"I will," Cullen promised, leaning forward to kiss Natalie’s forehead, then her lips. As he stood, though, he looked back at his wife and smiled. "Have I mentioned how much I love you?"

Sleepily, Natalie smiled and nodded back. “You have. Now, go before I forget about how long I suffered to have that child, because you’ve never been so handsome as you are standing there right now.”

Cullen gave her a cocky smile. “Would you like another?”

The words had barely left his lips before Natalie began glaring at him. “I haven’t forgotten the pain that quickly, and I’m not currently planning on going through this again so soon.”

Cullen left with a laugh, the midwife and the healer leaving shortly after, dousing the candles but leaving a roaring fire. Tomorrow, she knew that she would be seeing many guests, but right now, it was her moment to rest and sleep. Something that she knew she would get little of until the child was old enough to have a governess helping to watch her. But, in Natalie’s mind, that would take its time. She wanted to enjoy taking care of Alisa and watching her grow.


	12. The Woman in Leather

"How many times do I have to tell you: You can’t use your knives as a bookmark?" Dorian shouted as he threw a book at Natalie, who ducked out of it’s path so it hit the wall behind her and not her face.

"I didn’t have anything else to put in there, and I didn’t expect you to pick it up!" Natalie huffed as she straightened up and took the dagger from Dorian. "I’m still reading it."

"No, you are most certainly not! I’m revoking your privilege of finishing this this book until you have something suitable for marking your page," he replied, gently placing the book on the shelf before sitting down next to Natalie, both of them leaning their backs against the same wall. "Just be happy enough that the book itself wasn’t damaged."

Natalie softly shook her head, her braided hair shaking between her shoulders, before she rested her head on Dorian’s shoulder. They had just gotten back from a quest to the Hissing Wastes, and while she had promised to help her friend put away the books that they had brought along with them, she spent most of the time sitting on the floor, fighting sleep. She had even waved off a meeting with her advisors, postponing it until morning, believing she could wait to see them.

"I’m surprised you’re still sitting here, my friend," Dorian sighed as he picked up the book he tossed at Natalie before and rested it in his lap. "I was sure you would have hidden yourself away to spend the evening with the Commander."

She glared up at Dorian, who’s gaze in return was mischievous and wicked. “I don’t know why I even told you that we slept together,” she mumbled as she sat up straight. “All you do is make innuendoes and ask questions. I thought I told you that we were being discreet.”

“Please,” he snorted, “the two of you are as discreet as a rage demon. Or, should I go as far to say, a desire demon.”

Natalie gently smacked Dorian’s arm, too tired to really show him how bothersome he was being. But, in all fairness, he had been right. Natalie and Cullen weren’t exactly good at hiding their relationship: lingering glances, teasing smiles, unexplained reasons for them both to suddenly disappear. Their relationship resembled that of two children, not that of adults in respected positions, but for the people who knew them, they knew that it was a release from being the disciplined leaders they always were.

"You are a wicked and terrible friend."

"You love it."

Standing while twisting her dagger between two fingers, Natalie rolled her shoulders and her neck. “Before you go prying more into my relationship with Cullen in my currently weakened state,” she groaned, feeling how stiff her shoulders were, “I’m heading to bed.”

"Don’t be so sure of that," Dorian murmured as he stood, gesturing to a messenger that was rushing toward her.

The messenger placed his fist to his chest and nodded his head at Natalie. “Inquisitor, the Commander would like you to meet him in his office when you have a moment,” the man relayed, and she could feel Dorian’s body shake as he tried to stifle a laugh. “He apologizes for disturbing you, knowing you wanted your rest, but he said it was of the most urgent of reasons.”

"Thank you," she answered the messenger, who turned and headed back down the stairs. Then, Natalie turned back to Dorian, who smiled back at her. "It has to be Inquisition business."

"Oh, yes," Dorian falsely agreed, his nose crinkling as smiled. "Inquisition business that couldn’t wait till the morning. It may even take all night. I highly doubt you’ll see your own bed until tomorrow at this point."

"That’s it, mage," Natalie huffed as she quickly ran her fingers through Dorian’s hair, watching him squirm at the touch. "Tomorrow at dawn, you and I are training together. If you think I wont be getting any rest, then I will personally make sure that you don’t get any either."

With that, she left Dorian’s side before he could make any other comments. She took her time going to Cullen’s office, taking a moment to look at the work that Solas had put into his mural and watching people walking about Skyhold when she stood on the bridge. The sun was low in the sky, and with the creeping darkness, all Natalie hoped for was to catch some sleep.

The door to Cullen’s office wasn’t fully closed, and all she had to do was gently push it to open it. A few of the Inquisition’s higher ranking officers were talking to the Commander by the door to Natalie’s right, and he smiled when he saw her come in. “You have your orders,” he finished instructing before ushering the soldiers out the door, shutting it behind them.

Cullen crossed the room quickly to take the dagger gently from Natalie’s hand, absently tossing it into the training dummy across the room. “Did I wake you?” he asked, cupping her cheek in his palm as his other hand stroked up and down her arm.

"I was helping Dorian put away some of the books we brought with us," Natalie explained, leaning her hand into the warmth of his palm and shutting her eyes. "I was just about to head up when your messenger found me."

"I’m glad," Cullen warmly said, then pinched his eyes closed and shook his head. "I mean… I’m glad he caught you before you were asleep. Not that… I… Maker’s breath… Why do words always seem to fail me whenever you’re around?"

"Because your voice speaks faster than your mind," Natalie sighed as she smiled gently, taking a step forward to lean her head against the cool armor on Cullen’s chest. "What was so important that you wanted to speak with me?"

She felt Cullen’s hands grip the sides of her hips as he kissed the top of her head. “Upstairs,” he whispered, and she could feel him smile into her hair.

Groaning, Natalie gently pulled away from him. “Cullen…” she sighed as she looked up into his gentle, kind auburn eyes. “I love you, but I only want to sleep right now. Not-“

"Just, humor me, and go up the ladder," he insisted, his gaze softening as he ran a hand over the top of her head.

Natalie released a sigh and did as she was told, climbing up the ladder with Cullen close behind her. While having sex with Cullen was always an enjoyable experience for her, the only thing at that moment that she wanted was to sleep. And maybe have a hot bath with a cup of warm, rose tea.

The first thing Natalie noticed was the fresh smell in Cullen’s loft. For a room not having a fully closed roof, it always had a fresh smell of the mountain air, but this smelt of warmth, of a late summer evening, and Natalie noticed that there were honey-colored candles lit about the room.

"Josephine gave them to me," Cullen explained as he came up to stand behind her. "She said that they help with relaxation. They do smell nice." Then he gently turned Natalie by her shoulders to look at his bed.

It had been made with large pillows, filled with the lightest of feathers, and a thick comforter was pulled back at the corners, revealing cream sheets that still had seams in them from being folded. The whole bed looked as though someone took a cloud and placed in in the room, making it look as inviting and warm as possible.

"The ravens you were sending back… The reports… They seemed like you were stressed," Cullen sighed as he brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck, like he did whenever he was nervous or unsure of himself. "I thought… I ordered them from Orlais, and they’re far more comfortable than a bedroll. But if you want to sleep in your own room-"

Natalie wrapped her arms around Cullen’s waist, her fingers barely reaching from the extra amount of bulk the armor added. “This was just what I wanted.”

She felt Cullen’s lips catch the side of her cheek as he bent his neck down, then softly kissed her lips. “Let me remove this armor, and then I will help you out of yours.”

It had been such a long day, Natalie barely remembered that she was in her leather armor. She had ditched the hunting jacket and the belt that held the sheaths for her daggers, but the constricting leather felt almost like a second skin to her, after the weeks she spent traveling in them.

Cullen made short work of his armor and boots, settling for the comfort of just his breeches, socks, and his light tunic that he wore underneath of his clothes. At some point, Natalie knew, he would strip to change into a loose pair of trousers, but she watched as he went to a dresser and took out a cotton nightgown from it. “I imagine you look ravishing in that,” Natalie commented while Cullen crossed the room to her.

His cheeks flushed, and he avoided Natalie’s gaze. “I… it’s one of yours,” he explained, extending his hand to give her the garment. “I thought - if you had decided to stay the night - you’d want something that was yours…”

Natalie ran her fingers of the fabric. It was one of her favorites, peach in color, small capped sleeves, and ended right before her knees. She had worn it before she left for the Hissing Waste, not wanting to lose it during the journey. “Cullen, did you want something that had my scent on it?”

The color of the Commander’s face turned a deep red as he dropped his eyes to the ground. Natalie took a step closer, her body pressing against Cullen’s as she tilted her head to look up at his face. “I may have stolen one of your shirts for that reason,” she confessed, twining her index finger around one of his fingers. “The dark green one.”

The nervous expression in Cullen’s face melted away as he captured Natalie’s hand in his own, his other gently pushing on her stomach to have her take a step back from him. “Shall I help you remove your armor now?”

She nodded in reply before placing her nightclothing on the bed. Cullen’s fingers were gentle as he delicately undid each button and clasp, making quick work of the clothes but not allowing her muscles to become tense. He removed the leather tunic and the light shirt she had on underneath, stopping at her breast band before he set her down to sit on the bed.

Gentle hands untied the laces of her boots before slipping them off, along with her socks. The warmth of his hands traveled up the front of her legs before they reached the waistband of her pants. The button and the leather lacing quickly came undone, and Cullen rolled the leather gentle off of her.

Cullen reached his hands behind Natalie’s back, his fingers skimming the clasp that held her breast band on. “May I?” he asked, just as he always did, and waited for Natalie to nod her head in approval. As soon as the fabric was off of her, Cullen had made quick work to get the lightweight dress on and over her body, then he scooped her up into his arms, causing her to lightly laugh.

"You, my dear Commander," Natalie whispered as her fingers captured one of his loose curls, "must be asking for something, but what, I cannot fathom."

"All I want in return is for you to have the rest you deserve," he replied, slowly laying her down in his bed before he joined her, pulling the soft blankets up and over them. "Also, to never leave my arms again, but that might be just a selfish wish."

"It’s not selfish," Natalie explained as she turned to face Cullen, stretching her legs forward to tangle them with his. "It’s something I want, as well, but we both know that it can’t be."

The arm that Cullen laid on slid under the pillow that Natalie was using and snaked his fingers into the tie that held her hair together, absentmindedly undoing it and removing the braid. His other arm grasped her waist and pulled her even closer till he was holding her against his chest. “Then, if I may, let me have this moment?”

She took a deep breath as she placed her face against his chest, savoring his smell and the warmth of his embrace. “You can have this one and all the rest,” she mumbled, her fingers gripping into his shirt as she tried to bring herself closer.

Natalie’s eyes closed softly, and sleep quickly took her. It had been a while since she felt comfortable and safe enough to sleep deeply. And Cullen watched her as she slept, relishing in every second that he could to have her in his arms, while the small voice of fear tickled in the back of his mind. The one that reminded him that, one day, he may not be able to hold her. That she may not come back to him.

Silently, he prayed to the Maker that he wouldn’t lose her. Cullen could no longer imagine his life without Natalie: the woman who wasn’t afraid to admit that she didn’t know something. The woman who wore the night’s stars on her face and in her eyes. The woman who held possession of his heart. The woman who’s fate he feared more than anything. The woman in leather armor to protect her body, and in his arms to protect her heart.


	13. Soft, Blonde Curls

“Blasted Andraste!”

The curses of the Inquisition’s Commander coming from his office had many soldiers and messengers steering clear of any of the doors. In fact, for the past hour, the curses between him and the Inquisitor had made many people run in the opposite direction, fearing the wrath of both of them.

Inside the office, Cullen sat behind his desk with his hands clutching at the armrests of the chair that he sat in, while Natalie Trevelyan stood behind him, her expression fixed hard at the back of his head while her fingers worked through his hair. When he flinched, Natalie leaned down to lean her lips near his ear and whispered, “If you don’t hold still, you’re going to make this far worse and risk loosing a large patch of your hair.”

The Commander groaned, but held himself still as Natalie focused her attention to the task at hand. It was a simple accident, but it was something that Cullen couldn’t fix on his own. If only he were paying more attention to the soldiers he was training than on Natalie’s own training, he wouldn’t have gotten his gauntlet caught it his hair.

He had made some excuse, and rushed to his office, but Natalie wasn’t focusing on her own training, either, and had taken that as a sign to follow him for a moment alone, one that seemed hard to find while they were preparing to defeat Corypheus. When she walked in on Cullen trying to remove his gauntlet from his own arm hanging from the back of his head, she tried her hardest not to laugh.

“I still can’t see how you got this caught in so much of your hair,” Natalie whispered as she tried to shift some of the metal in the armor plating, only causing Cullen to hiss in pain. “Honestly, I can more easily just cut it out…”

“If I even see one of your daggers in your hand, I will never forgive you,” Cullen groaned, but Natalie only rolled her eyes. Growing up with only brothers, she was well aware of her hair getting caught in plenty of things from their doing, and she had to learn quickly that hair grows back.

“Fine,” Natalie huffed, sliding her daggers out and placing the three she had on her onto the desk for Cullen to see. “Then I have one other option, but it may not be the most comfortable option.”

Cullen turned his head slightly and glanced back at her. “Well? I am slowly running out of options.”

With a smile, Natalie brushed her lips against Cullen’s. “Kiss me,” she whispered, her lips moving against his own. She felt his moment of hesitation before he leaned slightly to meet her lips as she leaned over his shoulder.

Once she had Cullen’s full attention on kissing her, Natalie held the base off the hairs that were trapped in the gauntlet while her other hand pulled on the gauntlet, freeing it in most part and taking only a few hairs along with it.

“Maker-” Cullen shouted as he pulled free of Natalie and ran a hand to the back of his head, free of the tangled metal but still sore.

Natalie came round to sit on the desk in front of Cullen, holding the piece of armor out to him. “Would you like this back?” With a gentle glare, Cullen took the gauntlet and tossed it to the bookshelf where it clambered along the floor. “I’ll take that as a ‘no’, then.”

“You may take that answer as a ‘no.’” Cullen’s hands wrapped around Natalie’s waist and pulled her down so that she sat across his legs, holding her to his chest. “Your beauty will be the death of me.”

“My beauty?” she chuckled, tucking a piece of her brown hair behind her ear before glaring into Cullen’s eyes. “You are supposed to be watching the Inquisition’s forces and judge their progression, not watching me with wolfish eyes, my dear Commander.”

The man chuckled, running his nose along her neck, breathing in the smell of her, her skin still flushed from her exercising and practicing. “A man cannot help himself when he knows that he owns the heart of his subject.”

Natalie laughed, trying to push herself away, but Cullen’s grip held her firmly in his grasp. “Did my saving your precious hair put you in a mood?”

“Your graceful steps out on the training grounds put me in this mood,” Cullen replied, adding a gentle bite to the side of her neck. “But your closeness the past few moments haven’t done anything to diminish it.”

For a moment, Natalie allowed Cullen’s lips to explore what skin was available, which was only her neck and face for she still had her leather armor on which covered her body well from harm. But also from Cullen’s devilish tactics. And while the Inquisitor had wished for a moment before, she had ran out of time, and had to meet with Leliana about trying to find the Hero of Fereldan.

Pulling away and hearing Cullen’s groan of protest, Natalie leaned her forehead against the Commander’s. “My poor, dear Commander,” she whispered with a smile as her fingers traced patterns into his cheek. “I have other duties that don’t involve spending the late afternoon with you.”

As quickly as she could, she stood up and began to make her way to the far door in Cullen’s office. “But…” she sighed, laying a handle on the doorway and looking back at him with a wolf-like grin of her own. “If you find yourself still in a mood, we may discuss the matter further tonight after dinner. In my private rooms.”

The look of surprise and then a quick blush crossed Cullen’s face, and it as the face that she carried with her the rest of the day as she went about her work. That, and knowing that the feelings that had begun it’s work in Cullen’s office would be finished in her bed later that night.


	14. The Daughter's Knight (Parts One and Two)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the first two parts of a six-part series I did about Cullen and Natalie's daughter, Alisa. Dont worry, though! There'll be more Natalie/Cullen stories to come.

**Part 1**

Delicate fingers tightly gripped the fabric of the dark red gown as the young woman ran out of the gates of the Winter Palace, a wide smile on her red-painted lips. Someone would notice her absence soon, send guards and soldiers after her, but for a moment, just one, she was free.

Her blonde curls were pinned into a cascading wave that ended between her shoulder blades, bouncing with every step her legs took while her dark gray eyes scanned in front of her. It was well into the night, but the light from many lit candles and torches along the trail showed the way for her. But it also would allow the people sure to be behind her to find her. Something she wasn’t ready to meet the wrath of.

Who knew that accidentally bumping into someone and causing him to spill a single drop of red wine onto his shoe would cause an incident with Orlais? When her father stepped in to attempt to smooth things over… Well, her mother had always said he never had found his way around nobility. Her father’s flustered words were enough for her guards to be distracted with the growing issue at hand, and she took that moment to slip away.

Now, nearly breathless and running out of time and options, the woman had to make quick decisions: let her father and his fury find her, or hide. So she picked the latter, quickly turning down a darkened path that was lined with a high stone wall on one side, and thick hedges on the other.

The first thought that occurred to her was that she would be safe enough, and released her gown from her grasp to lay a hand against her stomach. No matter how strong she was from all her years of training, nothing prepared her for running in a corset, especially one cinched as tightly as the one she currently wore. The whole entirety of the party, she was jealous of her younger brother getting to wear formal armor and sensible shoes. Her feet were threatening to fall off from her ankles, her arms were nearly pinned to her sides because of the off-the-shoulder straps from the gown, and the corset… How any woman felt comfortable enough with half her cleavage threatening to fall out was beyond her thought.

“Damn Orlesians and their parties!” the woman breathlessly gasped as she placed both hands to her waist, trying to see if she could maneuver the corset enough to let her take in a full breath. There would surely be no way for her to get out of the gown on her own, and she was starting to wonder if running off was a good idea in the first place, if simply for the fact that she couldn’t escape her own gown. If only she were allowed to have carried a dagger with her.

“Seems like I’m not the only one trying to escape the party, either.” The voice came from behind the woman, and she nearly yelped from surprise as a man stepped from the hedges that mirrored the stone wall. “Don’t be frightened,” he whispered, though there was a slightly arrogant smile crossing his thin lips while his dark brown eyes crackled in amusement. “I’m just hiding out like you are.”

The woman eyed him up and down, skeptical that he was a guest to the birthday party of the Empress. The leather armor he wore was dirty, and his dark brown hair was a knotted mess that fell into his eyes. But the handle to his sword gleamed silver in the moonlight, and the muscles that he had built could only have come from many years of hard training with the weapon. Even the way he held himself read that he had learned respect, and the woman had to guess that he was someone’s personal guard or escort. He was certainly handsome enough for any of the Orlesians nobility, who favored their guards to be, in a sense, pretty.

“Like what you see?” he chuckled, the arrogant and cocky smile never once faltering, so the woman held herself taller, although her head barely cleared his shoulders. But it gave off a wave of authority, the way she had seen her mother do countless times before. “How about we start with names? I’m Christian. Ser Christian Rowlin.”

She watched as he swept an arm across his chest and bowed lowly before the woman, the look he flashed her as he rose expectant. And with as much dignity as she could muster, she replied, “Alisa Trevelyan-Rutherford. Daughter of the Inquisitor,” and gave a slight curtesy, never once allowing her eyes to leave his.

Her title always threw people off slightly, but she watched as Christian didn’t even so much as blink at her response. He just straightened his back and clasped his hands behind him. “And what, may I ask, is a woman of your status doing out alone in the night? It isn’t exactly the safest place for someone such as yourself.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Alisa growled, but she knew what he implied. She heard it a thousand times before. People always expected her to act like a noble daughter, a daughter of royalty who worked on her needle-point and liked to spend afternoon drinking tea and gossiping with other ladies.

But that wasn’t Alisa at all.

From as early as she could remember, she had a sword in her one hand and a shield in the other, taking every second she could to practice with her father and his soldiers. Her balance was good, and her footwork better. And the rare times that Alisa had to act like a porcelain doll, she nearly messed up the alliance between the Inquisition and Fereldan. Luckily, King Alistair thought the whole thing was hilarious, even though he was covered with wine and thick broth.

“Just that I’m not the only one out here, and many of them work against the Empire and the Inquisition.”

Against. At that simple word, Alisa took a half-step back. “Who are you truly?” she demanded, calculating the swing of his arm if he were to have his sword grasped in his hand and making sure that she was well out of its swing. “What are you doing in Olrais?”

“Personally, my lady, I am not the one to be frightened of, ” he mumbled, taking a quick glance over his shoulder. “All you should know of me is that, if it had happened in Fereldan, I only would have gotten a slap on the knuckles for my crime. Instead, I’ve been brand a traitor to the Empire. But, you are still in far too much danger and should head back to your escorts.”

“I am not going anywhere until I get the answers I am looking for, now-”

“You really are a dense woman, aren’t you?” Christian growled, taking another glance behind him. “Beautiful, but very dense. Or stubborn. Perhaps both.”

Alisa was going to harshly retort, the noble-acting side of her mixing with the proud-soldier, when she heard the crunching of gravel under horses hooves echo from the far end of the path behind Christian. And they were thundering quickly, and getting louder with each passing moment.

“Andraste’s tits,” Christian harshly growled as he rushed forward and roughly gripped Alisa by the arm, and dragged her with him as he sprinted away from the thundering hooves. “They’ve found out you left the party. You should never have left your guards.”

“What are you talking about?” Alisa questioned, her heart pounding as her tired legs tried to keep up with Christian. “Who are they?”

But Christian didn’t answer. He just kept Alisa tightly in his grasp as the two of them ran closer and closer to the main road. Shadows could be seen ahead of them, and Alisa made out the form of the Qunari who was as much a friend to her as to her mother. Surely, whomever was behind them wouldn’t dare to try and draw swords with the Inquisition.

The slice of air as an arrow flew past Alisa’s head was the only answer she needed, and she felt Christian shift himself behind her before pushing her in front of him. “Go!” he shouted, drawing his sword and turning to face the oncoming fight, only glancing back momentarily to make sure she kept going.

Alisa drew up her skirts and took off running with renewed vigor, Iron Bull, the Chargers, and the Inquisition soldiers behind him rushing forward toward the fight. She wouldn’t have stopped running if a gloved hand hadn’t grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her into the solid mass of muscles. “Garret!”

Her little brother, who stood a whole head taller than she, stared out passed her where the first clash of swords echoed into the night. His golden eyes burned as he watched, calculation every move before he pushed Alisa forward. “Come on,” he mumbled, fear gripping his voice, and she allowed him to usher her toward the Palace where more guards and soldiers were running out.

**Part 2**

“What were you thinking?” Commander Cullen harshly shouted as he paced back and forth in a private room within the Winter Palace. It was only he, his two children, Dorian, and Leliana in the room itself, but Cullen acted as though he were berating an entire company of men. Not his daughter. “You’ve read the reports, you knew that there was someone targeting the Inquisition in Halamshiral, and yet you still left the grounds of the Palace on your own, unarmed, and without an escort! Were you trying to get yourself killed?”

Never has Alisa seen her father’s wrath placed on herself or her brother, so she remained silent where she sat on the uncomfortable couch and let him speak, her eyes casted down to study her hands. Garret was no better, where he leaned against the wall right next to the door, ready to make a break for Skyhold to fetch their mother at any moment.

“Well, Alisa?” Cullen demanded, glaring down at his daughter as the fingers of his left hand flexed around the hilt of his sword. “What have you to say?”

“I don’t know,” she whispered, her eyes focused on watching her hands crack each knuckle of her fingers, a nervous habit she had been trying to kick since she was young. “I didn’t realize how close they’d be to the Winter Palace.”

“This is probably one of the most dangerous places,” Leliana replied, her voice soft but firm and serious.

“I hadn’t realized…” And she hadn’t. Alisa didn’t want to attend the birthday party for the Empress in the first place, but with the Inquisitor having just gotten back from a wedding of some diplomat in Denerim, Alisa and the rest of her family had to go in place, allowing her mother to have a moments rest. The time of preparation for the travel, learning names, social etiquette that was greatly different than that she had learned, and remembering who’s toes to not step on, the reports of the people who disagreed with the Inquisition got mixed in her mind. “I’m sorry, Father.”

The room was silent for a few moments, the only sound coming from the crackling of the fireplace that lit the golden room in brilliant oranges and reds. “Excuse us for a moment, please?” Cullen asked, his voice quieter and far more gentle than it had been only moments before.

“Come, young Garrent,” Dorian cooed as he wrapped an arm around the young man’s shoulder. “Maybe your looks will make the chevalier that I’ve had my eyes on turn his head, if only in want to remove you from my side.”

Leliana followed the gentlemen from the room, and closed the door behind her, leaving Alisa with her father, her eyes still avoiding him. She had never felt as though she had disappointed him before, and it broke her heart. Alisa argued with her mother on occasion, but never with her father. The two were so alike and very close to one another, and it took every ounce of strength Alisa had to not fall apart and cry.

The sofa’s cushions shifted as Cullen sat beside Alisa, groaning as he went from exhaustion, more mentally than physically. He brought a hand to the back of his head, smoothing the now greying blonde hair at the nape of his neck before he looked down at his daughter. In his eyes, he’d always see the small babe with a beat red face that wrapped her tiny fingers around one of his own. And he had to remind himself that she was no longer a child.

“You had me worried,” he sighed as he watched Alisa’s tight back tighten a fraction more. “When Captain Thorne came to me… I thought the worse.”

Cullen smoothed one of his hands over Alisa’s hair, watching the curls that matched his own try to resist being flattened. “You know, I’m not angry at you.”

“How could you not be?” Alisa whispered, and a tear snuck its way down her cheek. “Even I’m angry at myself. I should have known better. You and Mum always said that the guards were there for our protection. And then I go off without even a dagger? I’m a foolish idiot.”

“Alisa.” Cullen hated watching her belittle herself, especially when he knew she was made for greatness. “You made a mistake, something I’ve seen your mother - and myself, for that matter - do a thousand times before. And we’ll make them a thousand more. As will you.”

Alisa only nodded, bringing one of her delicate fingers up and under her eye to strike a tear away. “When are we returning home?” she asked, wanting nothing more than to put this night behind her and be behind the safety of the walls of Skyhold.

Cullen sighed as he stood, reaching a hand out to Alisa to help her rise. “Everything is being arranged for our departure as we speak,” he replied as Alisa stood, then he clutched her face between his hands and kissed the top of her head. “You must stop blaming yourself, my sweet girl. The important thing is that you are alright.”

As Cullen pulled away, Alisa looked up at him. “Da?” she asked, her voice taking on the small characteristic that reminded him of when she was a child. “The man in the alley, Christian Rowlin. What became of him?”

Even under formal robes, the appearance of the Commander came out after Alisa’s question. “He has been detained and will be judged by the Inquisition when we arrive back to Skyhold.”

“Detained?” Alisa questioned, furrowing her eyebrows and trying to catch up with her father as he left the room. “What do you mean? He saved me.”

“Iron Bull brought him back,” Cullen explained, holding up a hand to Alisa so that she wouldn’t argue with him. His word was final. “He was arguing with one of the possible assassins. He was in league with them from the beginning.”


	15. The Daughter's Knight (Part Three and Four)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The middle two parts of my six-part series about Natalie's and Cullen's daughter, Alisa.

**Part Three**

Skyhold gleamed in the late summer sun, people laughing as they worked through their day at a peaceful pace. The few small children who were allowed up in the keep because their parents were friends with the Inquisitor were playing in the garden, while a few noble guests watched over them with mild amusement. 

But Alisa paced back and forth before the door that led to the dungeons, her boots worrying a muddy path into the grass. Her formal gown was replaced for her comfortable black breeches and her beige tunic, and her hair was wrapped up into a loose bun behind her head. As she paced, she bit at the tips of her fingers, destroying her nails in the process. 

Garret, on the other hand, leaned against the stone wall next to the door, one ankle crossed over the other as he bit into an apple. “You know,” he chuckled through a full mouth, “you can always just go down there and ask him for an explanation.”

“You could try not talking without a full mouth,” Alisa glared back at him, not stopping her movement. “And you know it’s much harder than that. Especially with Ma and Da stating that neither of us were to go down there.”

“When has that ever stopped us before?” he asked, pushing himself up and away from the wall, his whole presence seeping with his easy-going nature. “And I, for one, am curious as to who’s guarding our newest guest.”

“Krem, and you knew this.”

“Wonderful!” Garret chuckled before he grabbed his sister’s hand and quickly dragged her through the door to the dungeon. “And I just so happen to know that Krem has just left to go and grab some lunch, leaving our poor guest without much company. And is Ma always telling us to make sure our guests are comfortable?”

“Garret!” Alisa growled as he led her down into the dungeon, the cool and damp air threatening to send her hair into a frizzy mess. “Garret, we shouldn’t be involved with this!”

“Either he saved you, or he tried to kill you,” Garrent informed before opening the final door to the dungeon. “But both ways already have you involved in the matter, so not much harm can come to this.”

The cells to the dungeon were all open, except for the furthest one, and no guard stood in the room. The waterfall from the old dungeon could be heard echoing around the stone room. But all Alisa could focus on were the two hands that hung out between the bars. “If you’re back already to bore me with your talk on how many ways to sharpen a blade, just please, use one of them, and put me out of my misery now before you continue.”

Garret nudged Alisa forward, and she casted a glare at her younger brother before making her way to stand in front of the door. “It’s me,” she whispered, and as she came into view, she watched as Christian straightened his back and take a step away from her.

His armor had been replaced with a white tunic and beige trousers, his feet bare on the cold ground. Black rings from exhaustion were below his eyes, and a fading purple bruise was on his left cheek. Brown eyes watched Alisa with regret and pain as she sat before him on the small stool, and Christian sat down on the floor, leaning his back against the wall and resting his arms on his knees. “To what do I owe the pleasure, my lady?”

The hints of humor that accompanied their first meeting weren’t in his voice any longer, just regret, and Alisa leaned forward till she was nearly leaning against the bars. “I had nothing to do with this,” she whispered, her eyes pleading as she held Christian’s gaze. “I told my parents countless times that you are the only reason I’m safe, but they wouldn’t listen to reason.”

“They’re listening to the facts,” Christian replied, coldly, glaring at the floor before him.

“I don’t believe that.”

“How stubborn can you get?” Christian dryly chuckled, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at her. “I was with them, those former Templars. And I knew they were after you. Just because I still have some honor doesn’t mean that I don’t deserve to be here.”

“You don’t!” Alisa argued walking over and kneeling in front of the door. “Like you said, whatever you did, you were severally punished for… for something that should have gotten you a slap on the wrist for. You placed yourself between me and people who wanted to kill me. What I see is someone who is trying to repent his sins.”

Christian knelt up and leaned against the bars, his face mere inches from Alisa. “Then tell me, what punishment do you think is worthy of a templar that had fallen in love with a nobleman’s daughter, gave her everything, and only have her turn around, and lie to her father that I stole her honor against her will. Do you think I should have been kicked out with the templars who were plotting against the Empress and the Inquisition, or should I still be in the shinning armor of an Order trying to rebuild itself?”

It took Alisa off guard, his sudden confession, and she wasn’t sure what exactly to say. But Christian’s sorrowful expression as he leaned his head against the bars caused her to reach a hand out and touch his cheek, a move that surprised her as much as him. “You say I’m stubborn,” she gently said, rubbing her fingers slowly against the bruise on his cheek and feeling the slight tug of the stubble of hair. “Now, watch as I use that to get my way. Nothing bad is going to come to you. I promise.”

**Part Four**

Natalie gripped her hair tightly between her fingers and threatened to pull it away from her scalp as she watched her daughter stand in front of her in the war room. “You… Oh, you…” she grumbled, not being able to find the words to express how furious she was at Alisa.

Cullen, Josephine, and Leliana stood next to her in front of the war table, and Cullen was trying to work around Alisa’s request himself, though Natalie’s anger was surely out-weighing his own. “Mum, please. Let me explain-”

“You were both explicitly told to not go down there!” Natalie cut her off, her gray eyes firm with years of experience of playing the manipulation game with her own noble parents. It wasn’t going to work for Alisa. “And now I find out that not only were the two of you down there, but you spoke with the prisoner!”

“He shouldn’t be a prisoner!” Alisa yelled back, holding her ground. Garret had been dismissed from the War Room as soon as the arguing began, and even with her brother’s absence, she held her ground, even though it was technically his fault they were in the dungeon in the first place. “If you spoke with him… If you took five moments to listen to his story-”

“And watch as he tries to kill you a second time? I think not.”

“He didn’t try to kill me the first time!” Alisa retorted as she took a step forward, advancing her ground. “He saved me, and now you’re treating him as a fugitive.”

“I spoke with the Empress before we left Orlais,” Cullen informed, his voice firm and unyielding, but not holding the anger that Natalie’s held. “She told us why he was dismissed from the Order. How he raped a girl-”

“It’s a misunderstanding!” Alisa huffed, tossing her hands up in the air as she shook her head. “Have any of you even tried to speak with him in any way other than an interrogation? It may prove fruitful.”

The room was silent for a moment, and Alisa didn’t know who’s eyes to meet - but she knew not her mother’s. “Please,” she whispered, finally settling on looking down at her muddy boots. “Just listen to him. I trust him.”

“You only just met him,” her mother sighed, slightly rolling her eyes at Alisa.

That was when Alisa finally met Natalie’s, and Natalie saw the look of pleading that her daughter was giving her. “I know, but I don’t feel like I have. I feel like I’ve known him all my life.”


	16. The Daughter's Knight - Part 5 and Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final two parts of The Daughter's Knight! I do quiet enjoy writing Alisa. She's wonderful!

**Part Five**

The Main Hall of Skyhold was nearly empty except for the Advisors, the Inquisitor, the remaining members of the Inner Circle, and Alisa and Garret, who stood in their usual place near the door to the undercroft. They wouldn’t be allowed to say a word, but they were permitted to sit in on any of the judgements, and there would be no way Alisa wouldn’t miss this.

Two soldiers walked Christian into the hall, and he looked worse to Alisa compared to how she saw him two days earlier. He seemed weaker, and he could barely hold his own head up. His eyes were nearly closed as he tried to blink aways the sunlight, and it took Garret’s hand at her elbow to hold her in place. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she needed to go and help him.

“Ser Christian Rowlin,” Josephine introduced to Natalie, who sat on her Chantry-designed throne, a gift from Cassandra after her first year of being divine. “He has been charged with conspiracy to murder a prominent member of the Inquisition: your daughter, Alisa Marie Trevelyan-Rutherford. But, on the word of your daughter, information has arisen that this may not be true.”

Natalie leaned forward to look down at where the soldiers had deposited Christian on the steps that led to the throne, his body resting on his knees. “Should I trust what my daughter has said of you, Ser Rowlin? That you have been falsely accused?”

Christian looked up and caught Alisa’s eyes, and she saw for a moment a flutter of the arrogant smile that he flashed her so many nights ago. “You worship,” Christian sighed, his voice gravely and thick from having spent so long in the dungeon. “I have not lied to the Lady Alisa, but I do not deny that I had not been in the company of the men who did attack her.”

“Then why should I allow you to go free?” the Inquisitor asked with a glance at Alisa, who felt helpless.

Christian closed his eyes and took a deep breath, swallowing and running his tongue over his dried lips. “I never asked for this, for any of this. When I found out that the others wanted to go after the Inquisition and the Empire, I left to go and warn someone. No one would let me into the Winter Palace, so I waited outside for one of the guards to do a patrol.

"I hadn’t expected Alisa to come down the alley,” he continued, his eyes fixed now on Natalie’s as he gazed at her with pleading eyes. “At first, I thought she was a duchess, losing her way; she was certainly beautiful enough. But hearing her voice, the detest she had for the gown… When she told me her name, I tried to steer her away. I told her it was dangerous to be out, that she needed to leave.”

“Why didn’t you go straight to an agent of the Inquisition with this information?” Natalie asked as she stood, slowly walking over to Christian. “And why were you so worried for the safety of my daughter?”

The second question had Christian frozen, his eyebrows rising slightly while his eyes remained on a fixed point on the step in front of him. “Well?” Natalie pressed, stopping to stand next to his shoulder.

“I…” Christian’s eyes closed, pinching tight as he took a shaky breath. “I… My lady, please.”

“Answer me,” Natalie demanded, bending down to bring her face just next to his. “Why did you even bother to risk your life for my daughter?”

Christian opened his eyes, and his dark brown eyes burned into Natalie’s grey ones. “You want your answer,” he murmured, darkly, and Alisa watched as Cullen inched closer to Natalie, his hand on the hilt of his sword and ready to draw it out. “Fine. I risked my life for her because I’ve always been fascinated with her. My father fought in your army, told me of how strong of a woman you were. And when I found out the beauty in front of me was your daughter, it was like every dream I had came true. The rumors and tales of Alisa that I had heard didn’t even begin to do her justice. The girl that I had fallen in love with in stories was before me, and I didn’t want to let her go. Call me selfish, but I did what any man would have done. What any respectable man should have done if he even thought that he loved the woman before him.”

There was not a sound in the room as the Inquisitor looked at Christian’s huffing form before everyone, and some glancing at Alisa. It was like everyone else in the room stole the air from her lungs as she watched her other stand and turn to her father. “Cullen, go ahead.”

“No!”

Alisa didn’t know where she found the air to shout, but she suddenly found herself pushing past people and pulling herself from her brother’s grip to stand between her father and Christian. Her gaze was hard-fixed on her father’s, not backing down from her stance. “No.”

“Alisa.” Cullen’s tone was one of warning, but his gaze was gentle as he went to stand beside Natalie.

“I said ‘no,’ Father,” Alisa stated again, unwavering. “You are not going to lock him back up in the dungeons. There’s no reason! He saved me, made sure no harm came to me. And you’d have him punished because he has admitted feelings towards me?”

“Sweetheart,” Natalie sighed as she shook her head, but a small smile was creeping up on her lips. “Are you truly aware as to what you’re saying 'no’ to?”

Now Alisa was the one furrowing her eyebrows, unsure as to what they meant. Until Cullen reached behind him and pulled out a set of keys from his belt, tossing the keys to his daughter. “The advisors and the Inquisitor all came to the agreed decision that he was to go free last night. We just needed to hear him say it himself.”

A flush crossed Alisa’s cheeks, before she knelt down to unlock the cuffs around Christian’s wrists, going as quickly and as gently as she could. Once the pieces of metal hit the floor, she rubbed her fingers against his wrists to remove what little mark that was left.

“You are a thorough mix of stubborn and dense, I’ve decided,” Christian lightly chuckled, exhaustion still on his face, but the color slowly returning at the mere thought of being freed.

“But did I not prove that my stubbornness would get you out of chains?” she laughed back, but it seized in her throat when one of Christian’s rough hands pushed a piece of her golden hair behind her ears.

His fingers slowly trailed the curve of her cheek till he reached the tip of her chin, where he watched as his thumb brushed over her lips. “Your worship?” he whispered, his eyes never leaving Alisa’s face. “I’d very much like to kiss your daughter.”

Cullen began to protest, but Natalie grabbed at his arm. “The permission belongs to her,” the Inquisitor answered with a smile, though she was struggling to hold the Commander back.

“Then I believe I know the answer,” Christian chuckled, tipping Alisa’s head back. Her head was abuzz, not knowing exactly what she was doing, but something told her she liked it. And when Christian’s lips brushed hers, she didn’t resist, nor did she push away when his hand went to the back of her head to deepen the kiss. The only thing her body allowed her to do was wrap her arms around the man she had only met because she nearly ran into him in an alleyway.

**Part Six**

The Daughter’s Knight - Part 6 {Dragon Age}

Part 1.. Part 2 .. Part 3..Part 4.. Part 5

And now, the conclussion…

While the air held a chill to it, announcing the approach of winter, the garden remained in bloom. Several months had passed since the Empress’s party, and it was almost a distant memory, one that Alisa liked to not dwell on for too long. Especially when she was trying to defeat her father at chess.

“It’s your move,” Cullen prompted, his lip twitched upward in a smirk. “Or are you already admitting defeat.”

“Never!” Alisa laughed before bringing all of her focus back to the board. She could only see two available moves, and both would easily leave her queen open to checkmate. If it wasn’t for the bet that Cullen promised that he would let her sleep in if she won instead of doing early morning training with him before the troops awoke, she would have given up long ago. But with the thought of sleeping in, she persevered. And was still looking into the face of defeat.

A long shadow came up over her shoulder as two arms wrapped around her waist and under her arms, and a head rested on her shoulder. “My stubborn lady,” Christian’s heavy voice chuckled as he pressed his forehead to the side of her head, resisting the urge to kiss her. “You know you could win in a single move?”

It was her parents only rule, since the two had developed an attraction to each other far quicker than they would have liked. They were to take their relationship slowly, and Christian would be allowed to join the Inquisition’s forces. But that meant no lingering kisses, no sneaking off to be alone, and, if Christian valued his life, no open displays of affection in front of Cullen.

“No, I cannot!” she gasped, before studying the board more closely. “Where?”

“Your knight can take his king, placing the queen into check, but his queen has no where to escape without going into check herself. His only move would be to fall.”

The board became clear to Alisa, and she moved to take the king quickly. Cullen chuckled as he leaned back in his seat. “This is why he is never invited to accompany you during our weekly match,” her father said as he relaxed. “Now, I’m sure you wish to steal my daughter away?”

“Yes, sir,” he answered as Christian took Alisa gently by the hand and helped her to stand. He was still in his shinning armor, having give up the leather for that of the steel that the Inquisition supplied it’s soldiers. He had removed his gloves, though, and Alisa relished in the warmth of his hand around her’s as he led her away from her father and up the steps to the battlements.

Christian quickly led her down and around until they reached a tower, before rushing up the steps to get to the highest point and stood with the wind blowing around them. “Finally,” Christian smirked as he wrapped his fingers into Alisa’s freed hair and pulled her to him so he could kiss her lips.

It was rough and heated, Christian tipping her head so that Alisa would open her lips to him so that he could claim full possession of her. And she allowed him. They would only have a few moments alone before someone suddenly appeared to act as a chaperone to the young couple. Although all of Christian’s crimes had been forgiven, and that Natalie and Cullen trusted Alisa’s judgement, the two were still young, and it was more of her parents wanting to make sure that they didn’t rush into anything too quickly.

Christian pulled away first, rubbing his head against Alisa’s as he ran one hand through her hair and the other up and down her arm. “How much longer of this charade will we have to play?” he asked as he closed his eyes. “King Alistair only knew the Queen a year before he married her. Why must we wait?”

“Because we’re not having a romance while facing am archdemon,” she whispered in reply as her hand ran over his chin, running her finger over the gentle point.

“If I had the option, I’d marry you at this very moment, and all would be said and done for,” Christian sighed as he pulled away, moving his one hand to hold one of Alisa’s. “That way every person I had come across, I could tell them that I captured the most beautiful woman in all of Thedas as my own.”

“I do believe the Inquisition held you prisoner for a time, so wouldn’t that mean I captured you?” Alisa asked as she let Christian take her to the edge of the wall and the two of them watched as the sun began to disappear behind clouds that threatened snow.

“I know what they fear,” Christian sighed, pulling Alisa to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chest against her back and damning his armor. “They fear I don’t truly love you. That all I see from you is a position of power. You know that’s not true?”

“Of course I know that,” she whispered in reply, leaning her head back to place a kiss on his cheek. “And I’m sure, in part, they know where your heart lies. In the meantime, you’ll just have to continue to show them how much you love me, and I you in return. We’ll make them see.”

The two stayed in the tight embrace for a long while, just watching the clouds roll over the mountains and across the sky. No one came by to disturb them, and people even began to avoid that part of the battlements after a while to give them space.

Up in the highest room, though, Natalie Trevelyan leaned against the railing of the balcony, watching the scene below her unfold, and she couldn’t help but smile. It was like looking at a distant memory, one with fewer scars and fresher problems. Of herself and Cullen watching so many sun-rises and -sets.

“Are they still out there?” Cullen asked as he came into the room, seeing Natalie standing out on the balcony before he dropped his sword on the desk and began to unbuckle his armor.

Natalie hummed approvingly in reply as she pushed away from the railing and into the bedroom. She went to help Cullen remove the many buckles of his armor, her fingers skilled from many years of performing the task under every circumstance. “They shouldn’t be alone out there,” he grumbled, his chest resonating the sound.

“Oh, shush,” she chided, quickly kissing his scarred lips before moving to place his armor on his armor rack. “How different is there relationship from ours when it was just beginning?”

“He needs to get as far from our daughter as possible, then, if any of the thoughts I had for you are crossing his mind,” Cullen groaned as he sat down on the bed before laying back on it. “When did we grow old enough for our children to be looking towards marriage?”

“Around the same time they grew smart enough to form their own thoughts,” Natalie laughed as she lay down beside him, running her hand along his chest. “You need to trust Alisa. She’s smart enough to know what to do.”

Cullen rolled his eyes, staring up at the ceiling. “During our chess match,” he sighed as he lazily ran a hand over the one she left on his chest, “all I could think about was the day of her birth. How small she was, how beautiful. I couldn’t even let her go when I brought her down to the hall to let our friends meet her. How am I supposed to let her go now?”

Natalie curled herself into Cullen’s side and laid her head down on his chest, his arm wrapping around her body. “I’ll let you know when I finally figure it out,” she replied, sighing heavily. “But, until we can figure it out, we can remember how much time we still have with Garret.”

“And what of our other child?” Cullen asked, pausing a moment in his stroking of her hair. “Surely you haven’t completely given up-”

“She wont return any of my letters, and Leliana and I have searched everywhere for her,” Natalie sighed sadly, remembering the last time she saw the pale face, covered in tears as the young girl left Skyhold in the back of a cart. “But it seems she doesn’t want to be found anymore.”

Arms tightened around Natalie, holding her tightly to Cullen’s chest as he kissed the top of her head. “We’ll find her,” he promised, yielding his own tears as he allowed his wife to softly cry into his chest. “I promise you, I will find her and I will bring her home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is definitly not the end of the children's stories. I'm going to do a six-part story of Garret and another for this mystery third child, just have to get around to writing it.


	17. Orlesian Fashion (nsfw)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... Nsfw... And I'll be hiding under the pillow fort because I haven't edited this since I've posted it to tumblr.

Terror, shock, fear. Whatever emotion that was running through Natalie Trevelyan as she looked at the contents of the elegantly decorated box that Josephine had sat on the Inquisitor’s bed, she didn’t like. Nor had she experienced it before as she pulled the very thin lace material out of the box with the tips of her fingers. In her mind, it was barely enough to cover a glove. “I’m not wearing this, Josie.”

The Ambassador, in turn, rolled her eyes. “You asked me to get you something that the Orlesian women wear when they want to entertain their lovers, so-”

“I wasn’t thinking this!” Natalie cried as she dropped the garment, as though it had burned her. Her gray eyes were full of fear, wide and round like a horse’s after it has spooked. “This… Does this even count as clothing?”

She was going to leave Cullen again to go off and fight an impressive enemy. And she hated the look he gave her every time she left. But Natalie had hoped with leaving him a memory that would make the task slightly more bearable. She hadn’t realized how bare she would be, though.

Natalie picked up the garment again. It looked like a corset, but no corset that she had ever worn had been see-through, nor had it never been only bound together in front of her breasts with a single, thin ribbon. It was more of a jacket, and it only covered her breasts before falling off to her sides, brushing the tips of her hips where it ended. The lace itself was a pale cream, just lighter than her own skin tone, and it was attractively designed.

Then her eyes fell to the matching piece. “Tell me that isn’t supposed to be my undergarment,” she whined as she held up something that resembled more of a bow string attached to a child’s handkerchief than any form of small clothes that Natalie has ever seen.

“It’s all the rage in-”

“This is Cullen we are speaking of!” Natalie breathlessly laughed, as she looked at the two pieces of fabric on her bed. “He’s going to be entirely far too embarrassed to even actually see me in this. And, frankly, I feel as though I’d be embarrassed to be seen.”

Josephine walked over to Natalie and gave her a friendly smile, but there was a knowing look in her eyes. “If I may be so bold,” she said as she took one of Natalie’s hands, “but from the look I’ve seen the Commander give you, and how I can only imagine how you’d appear in this outfit-”

“It’s not really an outfit.”

“-You’re going to have a hard time keeping his eyes off of you. Or his hands, for that matter.”

\-----

The thick cloak was drawn tightly around Natalie as she stood on her balcony, looking out at the night sky. Her skin was prickled with bumps from shivering, and her knees buckled occasionally, but she wasn’t cold. All thanks to the heavy cloak, for the Maker knew that what she had on underneath was doing very little to keep her warm.

Cullen was supposed to have come up to her room what felt like hours ago, and as time moved on, the more nervous she was about standing there. Natalie knew how to be alluring to him - stand behind him and gentle kisses to his left ear, and the Commander burned - but this was new, untested. Even the few men she had been with before Cullen were mostly forbidden trysts with her father’s household guards.

This was the first time she had ever wanted to do something special like this for anyone. And the new experience had her anxiety sending her closer to a panic attack with every passing moment. “This was foolish of me,” Natalie started to berate herself as she turned back to go into her room. “I should have never-”

The sight of Cullen with a soft smile standing in the doorway caught Natalie off guard. He had lost his boots, his armor, and his shirt was untucked from his trousers. Even pieces of his well-maintained hair was starting to fall loose in soft curls around his forehead and ears.

“I didn’t hear you enter,” Natalie stammered, the words barely being able to form a coherent sentence.

“You looked as though you were in deep thought,” Cullen commented, stepping back to allow Natalie to enter the room. “I didn’t want to ruin the moment.” His warm hands reached for her, but Natalie took a step back, causing Cullen to lose his smile and stare at her with a puzzled expression. “Is everything alright? I haven’t mistaken why you asked me to join you-”

“No, no,” she quickly said, one of her hands sneaking through her cloak to shake him off. “No, you had the right reason. I just… need a moment to gather my strength.”

“Gather your strength?” Cullen questioned, taking a step towards her as he examined her face. “Natalie, are you sure you’re alright?”

In reply, she nodded her head. “Just… Stand there,” she instructed as she went over to the fireplace.

It was now or never, and she repeated that to herself a dozen times as she stared down into the crackling fire. She loved Cullen, with all of her heart, and she wanted to do this. But what was she so afraid of? There was no question how much he loved her, how he would never do anything to hurt her. All the thoughts of fear that rolled through her mind were nonsense.

So Natalie let the cloak fall from her shoulders and pool to the ground.

The first thing that she heard was Cullen’s sudden intake of breath. It was obvious that he wasn’t expecting the Inquisitor to be dressed in such a way, her back to him and showing how the thin material of the undergarment grazed the sides of her hips before sneaking between her thighs, just barely covering her. Or how the lace of the small bodice barely hid her breasts, flushed from Natalie’s embarrassment.

“Maker’s breath,” she heard him whisper before she felt him move her lose, brown hair over to fall in front of one shoulder before Cullen’s lips skimmed her neck. “Where did you get this?”

“I asked Josie to find something,” Natalie whispered in reply, though her tone was burning with anxiety. “I hadn’t realized- It’s too much.” She went to pull away, but Cullen’s hand wrapped gently around her wrist while his other held the top of her hip, holding her back to his chest.

“You could be dressed in rags and covered in mud, and still be the most beautiful thing I’ve seen,” he chuckled, grazing his teeth across her neck while his hand on her hip moved in small circles, relaxing the muscles. “This, much like your armor or whatever else you wear, is only the wrappings that hold the true beauty that I desire.”

Natalie turned her body, leaning her chest into his, and looked up at Cullen’s half-lidded eyes. “This isn’t too scandalous?” she asked, trailing her hands up his chest. “I was worried it wasn’t appropriate, being that the Orlesians often have a warped view when it comes to this.”

One rough hand pulled at her hip while the other reached up to trail the side of her breast and the lace that covered it. “I must admit, I was surprised at first to see you in this,” Cullen huffed, his voice low as he watched his hand move across Natalie’s chest. “But, it does have quiet to an appeal. Almost as though it is just hinting at the things I could have.”

“Could have?” Natalie lightly chuckled, the panic and fear washing away from her, as it always did whenever Cullen was around. “There’s a question about this?”

Cullen darkly chuckled as he pulled the ribbon from the center of the lace, the material falling away and revealing the Inquisitor’s breasts to him. “Oh, there is no question about what I will have,” he replied, gripping her legs with both hands and lifting her up.

Natalie lightly yelped, then chuckled as she wrapped her legs around his waist and dug her hands into his hair as she roughly kissed his lips. She could feel his hardness through his trousers, and ached for him as he carried her to her luscious bed.

With matching roughness as the kiss, Cullen dropped Natalie to the bed before nearly tearing his own shirt off and over his head before laying down atop of her, straddling her petite body and keeping most of his muscular weight off of her. In turn, Natalie allowed her hands to explore his chest as they made their way down to his breeches, all the while allowing Cullen’s mouth to explore her own.

Bringing her one leg up, Natalie wrapped her agile toes around the waistline of Cullen’s breeches and tugged them down to his knees. “It’s odd how easily you’re able to do that,” Cullen chuckled as he shifted himself the rest of the way out of his trousers.

“I’ve trained in the arts to become an assassin and am a deadly enemy to have,” she darkly replied with a mischievous look. “I can pick daggers up with my toes, and you’re more shocked by how I can remove your trousers with them.”

Cullen laughed openly as he looked down upon her. “My love, you are always quite full of surprises.” His hand pulling down at the feigned resemblance to her smalls punctuated his meaning, and his hand finally came to touch her, feeling how wet she was for him.

Fingers gently brushed up and down Natalie’s hot folds, causing her to gasp as her fingers dug into Cullen’s shoulders. It gave him the perfect opportunity for him to suck her lower lip between his teeth, teasing his tongue over the sensitive flesh.

If Cullen’s ears were his sensitive spot, Natalie’s was always her bottom lip. Food, wine, a playful kiss, they could all send her over the edge if someone knew what they were doing. And Cullen had honed in on the ability to read her like a book.

She was so close to the edge of an pure bliss, feeling it teetering on the edge, when Cullen pulled his fingers away from her and released her lip. The whine she released sounded much more like a child who hadn’t gotten the puppy she was promised than a woman slated of her desires, but the look Natalie gave him was one of pure want and need.

Without further delay, Cullen teased the head of his cock against her opening, causing Natalie to gasp and whimper, rolling her head back on the pillow. She hated being teased, but it always brought her to a higher climax, and it did bring Cullen some pride to see how he made her feel. To see one of the most powerful women in all of Thedas answering only to him for a moment.

“Cullen,” Natalie gasped breathlessly, her eyes searching his as one hand went to his hair, tugging at it gently. “Please…”

It was all he needed, all he ever needed, before Cullen pushed himself slowly, painfully slow, into her. Every muscle shook, joint curled, as Natalie squeezed around him, and her legs wrapped themselves around his waist, holding him as close to her as she could. The simple sight of her biting her own lower lip, her eyes tightly closed, nearly forced Cullen to let go of his control. But he waited, fully sheathed inside of her, his neck bending so he could press his forehead against hers while his arm moved under Natalie’s lower back.

He waited till he felt the rock of her hips before he dared moved, always fearful of hurting her. And, even then, his thrusts were slow and gentle. “Cullen,” she nearly growled, getting frustrated with him and his over-protective ideas. “For once, do with me as you want.”

Darkly, he chuckled, “In that case,” before he released his grip around her waist and planted his elbows on either side of Natalie’s body. Then did he begin to pick up the pace, moving himself in quicker, shallower thrusts.

Never did Natalie ask him to not tease.

Whimpers escaped her lips, wanting more out of what Cullen was giving her. “Beg,” he growled, clenching his teeth. He wanted to harshly to pound himself into her, but he wanted her to want it just as badly.

“Commander,” she whispered, a light moan behind her words. “Please. Take me fully.” Natalie trailed a finger along the cup of his ear, her eyes burning into his. “I need you to take me.”

All control Cullen once had was lost. He brought his knees under him as he slammed himself fully into Natalie, going harder and deeper into her. The breath left her lungs, replacing it with gasps and the tiniest of whines, not nearly enough air to allow her a breathy moan.

She could fee ever muscle in her body respond to the movement of Cullen inside of her, trying to hold him tightly before he could pull away from her. The bubbling of a quickly building climax was already building within her, and she wanted nothing more than to fall apart. Need to release was behind every thrust, and she had to focus on holding it back.

Cullen wasn’t much further behind as he bent his head to take her exposed breast into his mouth. The lace bodice was still around Natalie’s arms, and just the sight of the delicate material on the woman who was nearly a weapon herself was nearly enough for him to tip over the edge. But he had to make sure his woman was satisfied before him. And, now, the two of them were in a war of who could hold out the longest. A game Natalie could never learn how to win.

The added sensation of Cullen at her breast was enough for Natalie to lose all focus as the orgasm to rip through her, a high-pitched moan echoing through her bedroom. The tightening of her muscles around Cullen was enough to draw him over the edge, and just as Natalie’s climax began to fade away, the sudden feeling of his cock releasing his seed into her already sensitive body sent her back over the edge, her body twitching beneath him.

As gently and as slowly as he could, Cullen slid out of her and laid on his back beside Natalie, sweat clinging his hair to his head as he took in deep breaths. Natalie shifted out of the bodice, not even caring that it was under her, but that her arms were free, before she rolled into her love’s warm body. “So was that a lovely surprise?” she asked him, her eyes closed as she focused on his breathing.

“I believe my pouldrons would have looked better on your shoulders than that cloak,” Cullen finally sighed, rubbing his nose along her hairline. “We’ll have to see how you look in them soon.”

“You did approve of what I wore, though?”

“Yes, but it needs my pouldrons. And possibly my desk,” Cullen chuckled as he pulled Natalie so that she nearly laid on top of him, then reached out the the floor where one of the many blankets had fallen and pulled it atop of them. “Or the ramparts,” he added with a small yawn, but Natalie had already fallen asleep, something he should have expected. The woman always did need a nap after one go.


	18. Prompt: Angry Kiss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went through an edit since when I posted it to tumblr. Hope ya'll enjoy.

“You want to hit someone? Hit me!” Natalie Trevelyan’s grey eyes glared at Cullen from where he stood behind his desk, his gloved hand wrapped tightly into the collar of the messenger’s robes and his free hand pulled back as he readied himself to slam his fist into the man.

Shaking from restraint, Cullen let go of the man while throwing him toward the door. “Leave. Now.” The messenger didn’t need to be told twice as the man ran from the room.

“I don’t know what has gotten into you, Cullen, but he was delivering a message from Cassandra, not threatening your life,” Natalie growled as she walked around his desk, keeping a firm eye on him. “And it’s not like your withdrawals aren’t known throughout the Inquisition. Everyone has been more than accepting of it, and I'm sure Cassandra didn't want her messenger to return to her broken.”

Natalie could see the muscles under his armor shake and his jaw flex while he glared down at her. For the past two days, the withdrawals had been burning within him, and all the tension had finally reached his peak that day. He pushed the soldiers too hard in their training, yelled at a serving girl, and finally came to nearly injuring a defenseless man.

“You want to take your anger out on someone?” Natalie asked again, taking another step closer. She could feel the heat and tension radiating from Cullen’s body like the lightning in the air during a summer storm. “Use me. Hit me."

Before she could press him further, Cullen grasped both of Natalie’s arms harshly and slammed her into the stone wall. She gasped as the air rushed from her lungs, but didn’t have a moment to recover before Cullen’s lips possessed hers, his tongue flicking against her own as he explored her mouth. Hands moved from her arms to grab at her hips, digging into the flesh hard enough to leave bruises.

When he finally pulled away, both panting, the softness had returned to Cullen’s eyes. “Maker… Did I hurt you?” he asked when he was able to let go of Natalie’s hips and gently touch the back of her head.

“I'm no worse for ware. Promise,” Natalie answered, her hands gripping the sides of his face. “And next time you decide to take out your feelings on my Inquisition, try some on me first. I wont break.”

“As I’ve just seen,” he chuckled before giving her a soft kiss, barely brushing his lips over hers. "I'm sorry. I don't know what-"

Natalie cut Cullen off with a gentle kiss to his cheek, slowly trailing it down the hard lines of his face before looking back up at him. "You're not in this battle alone," she whispered, rubbing her fingers through Cullen's hair. 

The relaxing motion allowed for Cullen to rest his head on Natalie's shoulder, taking slow breaths as he wrapped his arms around her waist. He was more than greatful, in that moment, that she was there. He would have never forgiven himself for hurting the messenger, and he was thankful for Natalie's understanding and stubbornness of never being able to back down.


	19. Smell of Home

The thunder of horses feet hitting the cobblestone bridge had Natalie Trevelyan running from the main hall, her brown hair flying out behind her. For the past several days, ever since she and her party came through the eluvian, her heart felt like it was nearly broken in half. She had left her soldiers, her advisors, her friends behind at the Temple of Mythal. And even though ravens came with news of their eventual return, the only thing that would cause Natalie to stop worrying was to see their faces.

Dorian was right beside her as the two made their way down the steps and toward the gates. Through all her sleepless nights, her devoted friend had stayed by her side. And she was sure he wouldn’t leave her until her mind was at rest. 

“Remind me that they’re fine,” Natalie gasped as she paced in front of the gate. Some of the others who had remained at Skyhold, along with those who were with Natalie - Solas and Cassandra - standing with them.

“He’s fine,” Dorian gently replied as he watched Natalie, her gray eyes focused on bridge and the increasing size of the dozen horses.

The rest of the army would be far too large to get to Skyhold so quickly, but the rest of her companions and her advisors would have ridden ahead, Natalie knew. But the waiting, the anticipation… It was slowly killing her. 

“Tell me again?” she asked, the shapes of the riders starting to come into form. Too slow. Too far.

Dorian grabbed Natalie by the shoulders, forcing her to stop pacing. “Have I ever lied to you?” he asked her, and she shook her head. “I promise you, the Commander is fine.”

Natalie only had a moment to smile at Dorian before the sound of a single horse’s hooves went from a gentle canter to a hard gallop. A gray Fereldan warmblood broke away from the group, extending his legs to meet a full stride. Its rider’s armor gleamed in the setting sunlight, his posture slightly bent over the neck to urge his steps forward.

When the horse finally came through the gates, snorting and dancing on his legs from the buildup of energy, Cullen didn’t even wait for the horse to stand still before swung his leg over the horse’s back. And Natalie was right there and ready to be pulled into his embrace. His arms were tight, pulling her to him till her feet didn’t even touch the ground.

The ground rose up to meet Natalie’s toes, and Cullen bent down to lay his forehead against hers. Every part of Skyhold fell away around them in that moment as she breathed in slowly and fully for the first time in days. 

“You’re alright,” she whispered, lacing her fingers into his hair at the base of his skull as she held on to every trace that was truly him. “When we saw Corypheus-" 

"I thought the same of you until the raven reached us,” Cullen replied as one hand held onto her waist and the other wrapped around the back of her neck. “I’m still not sure this is actually real.”

Dorian’s chuckle and hard slap to Cullen’s shoulder sent them back to the reality of Skyhold. “Not that I don’t enjoy watching such a touching moment, but don’t you think it’d be more appropriate for the two of you to go off somewhere alone?”

The blush that crept across Cullen’s face had Natalie releasing a girlish giggle before she wrapped her hand in his. “Come on,” she urged, nearly dragging him up the steps of the battlement toward his office and his room.

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Natalie was removing the straps and unbuckling the armor that stood between her and Cullen. The heavy metal clamored to the floor, not even making it anywhere near the armor stand. And when the only thing that was separating them were the thin cotton material of their clothing, time nearly froze.

Gently, Natalie lightly wrapped her arms around Cullen’s waist and leaned her head on his chest. She closed her eyes and listened to the soft rhythm of his heart beat, felt his warmth as his arms wrapped around her, and felt his love when he rested his lips on top of her head.

“This is perfect,” she whispered before rubbing her head against Cullen’s chest, taking a deep breath in and savoring his smell: leather oil, armor polish, and something distinctly him…

“What are you doing?” Cullen chuckled, pulling Natalie away to look down into her eyes, running the tips of his fingers over her left cheek. “I smell of sweat, and you have your noise buried into my clothes?”

“No, not sweat,” she spoke softly, catching one of his fingers with her lips and leaving it a soft kiss. “You smell like home. I may have been here for days ahead of you, but I finally feel like I’m home.”

The swell of warmth and admiration that Cullen got whenever he remembered how much he loved Natalie crept through his body as he stared down at her. In that moment, he saw that she finally understood how he felt wherever Natalie left Skyhold.

It was like he would suddenly lose the ground beneath his feet, the happiness from the wold. Her departures brought an emptiness to the halls that he walked around. He didn’t need a place with walls to feel like he was home. Natalie’s arms and her love was home enough, as long as she was with him.


	20. Informal Whispers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the long time for an update. My life hasn't exactly been the easiest lately, and now I'm just starting to want to write again. I still haven't finished adding all of the Cullen X Natalie stories from Tumblr over to here, so if you're impatient, go right ahead over to randomnotebookstories and you'll find them there.

The wind blew hard through the night, creaking and winding its way through the cracks of the chantry’s walls in Haven. It was the first big storm since Natalie had joined the Inquisition, and while she was used to being on her own and was certainly not afraid of the storm… Each creak did send a chill down her spine and she couldn’t help but wish for the warm fireplace in her father’s study back in Ostwick.

People chattered about her, not so worried about the storm. But Natalie still did have very many friends. She trusted Cassandra, could speak easily with Varric, but they weren’t company like her brothers, and she found that she missed them more than anything.

“Your worship,” a voice behind Natalie spoke as it came up behind her in the small alcove she had chosen.

“If I hear someone call me that one more time, I’ll-” she started with an exhausted voice, still not sure as if Andraste was blessing or cursing her, when she turned and caught the Commander’s gaze. Natalie lowered her eyes quickly in embarrassment. “Sorry. It’s just already been a long night.”

“I imagine,” he lightly chuckled, before gesturing to the seat beside Natalie. “May I?”

Natalie nodded and she found herself wondering why the Commander was taking any interest in speaking with her. Surely, with the storm that was rolling through the mountains, he must have had something to do. And aside from wondering about the condition that the Inquisition was in, it’s soldiers, and being an adviser, she rarely spoke with him.

“It’s been some time since you’ve spent more than a day at Haven,” the Commander remarked, his eyes remaining down as he spoke. “I’m sure many of the Inquisition’s members are interested in meeting the Herald of-”

“I swear, though I don’t mean to be rude by it, if I hear someone else refer to me as that, I’m going to break the ice to the lake and jump into it.” Everywhere Natalie went every person she turned to, someone tried to bring up her newfound title. And even though she believed in the Maker and Andraste with all her heart, but the idea of her being Andraste’s chosen savior…

The Commander only laughed at Natalie’s comment, and when his eyes caught her’s, she saw the sparkle that was hidden behind the stern face of the former Templar. “I promise I shall not drive you further to the icy depths, then,” he chuckled before he brought a hand to the back of his neck. “But, then, what shall everyone refer to you as? Lady Trevelyan?”

Natalie wrinkled her nose, pinching her eyes slightly before relaxing her face and releasing a few soft chuckles herself. “No, I don’t need to be reminded of my mother,” she laughed as she brought her gaze back to her hands. “Natalie works just fine.”

“Natalie,” the Commander repeated, testing the name out on his own tongue. “I might be able to do that, but if I’m going to speak to you so informally, then you must do the same and call me Cullen.”

For the first time, Natalie was reminded that the Commander - Cullen - was someone who could very well be her friend. Even though he was a few years her senior and the commanding officer of the Inquisition’s forces. “I’ll attempt it,” she replied.

The wind blew slightly harder, sending a cool breeze through the old stonework of the building, and Natalie couldn’t help but pull her fur-line cloak a little tighter around her shoulders as she glanced up at the ceiling. Cobwebs danced from their corners in the breeze, just barely catching the air that was leaking between the stones.

“You are alright?” Cullen asked quietly, nodding toward Natalie’s hand. She almost always had worn her leather gloves, nearly terrified of the mark.

But, that night, she had slipped them off of her hands, and she hadn’t even realized that the mark was settled and peaceful. “I think so,” Natalie whispered back, running her opposite thumb along the greenish, scar-like line on her hand. “I mean, when I use it, it hurts. But times like this… Its almost like it’s not even there.”

“And… You? Are you - yourself - alright?”

Natalie looked up at Cullen, catching the gentleness in her eyes. People usually asked about her mark or about her travels, and it caught her slightly off guard that Cullen was honestly concerned about her. “I… Yes. I think so.”

Cullen softly snorted a chuckle before he stood, rolling his shoulders back and stretching out his neck. “I’m glad to hear it,” he answered, nodding his head. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to do a final check around Haven before I can call it a night. Something you should be thinking of doing yourself.” Then, with a respectful nod of his head, he took his leave, saying her name softly and just under the whispers of the wind.


End file.
